What's the Deal with Emotions?

If I Google emotions chart I can choose from over 11 million results that will most likely contain more options for happy, sad, angry and scared than most people can wrap their minds around. It makes sense that deciphering the minute differences between fearful and afraid, or elated and overjoyed can be confusing. Keeping them all straight when we have so many options can feel overwhelming. Consequently, when in therapy you may be asked about your feelings so much that you would rather not having emotions at all!

Most often we embark on therapy not because of the emotions that fall under the happy category, but due to those that are associated with sad, scared, or angry. It makes sense when clients wish away their emotions altogether. If one feels melancholy the majority of time, not having emotions may seem like an ideal solution. Life may be easier without the complications that emotions can provide. We could move past struggles without anxiety, depression or having to develop coping mechanisms to numb out the emotions that feel too great to overcome.

Consider life without emotions though. Even in a depressed state many individuals are able to identify that something is not right, that they do not feel well. As I’m writing this I’m trying to imagine what my day would be like without even the most mild emotions. I wouldn’t have felt reluctant for more sleep this morning. I would not have felt content sipping my morning coffee, reading today’s news. I would not have felt. The moments during our days would be purely intellectual with no deeper meaning to them. There would not be that feeling that fills out the thought, action or reason for why. Thinking about this, I can only describe it as robotic, hollow.

So then why do we need the full range of emotions? Couldn’t we just have happiness and forget about the rest? Typically when I ask clients this, they laugh envision a world where everyone would be constantly happy. It may be fun for a bit, but after a while it may become draining or even as drab as a world with no emotions. Without the full range we miss out on the positive things that having a complex set of emotions brings to our lives. We are able to know when we are happy because we are also able to know when we are sad. Having a wide range of emotions provides a comparison point to distinguish one from the other. And from these differences we can then work on uncovering the degrees of an emotion to gain better insight into our lives.

Having a wide range of emotions provides our days with more meaning. It’s why when we remember a moment of elation we can often tap back into how we felt in that moment. Emotions fill out those moments, planting more complex memories deeper in our minds. Additionally, we can become mindful of our emotions to become more insightful about ourselves. Recognizing that certain situations bring hope to our hearts or panicky thoughts are ways we can learn who we are. With this knowledge we can take control of our lives, and supply our toolboxes with the skills we need to manage any moment or emotion.

Still skeptic? Do the Google search I mentioned at the beginning of this post. With over 11 million results surely there is evidence that better articulates the importance of our emotions. And maybe you will discover a new one that resonates with you!

Katie Infusino is currently finishing her Masters work in Community Counseling at DePaul University. As an intern at The Awakening Center she sees clients for individual sessions, co-leads the Monday Narrative Therapy Body Image Group, as well as the Tuesday evening support group. Katie loves sharing the emotions charts she finds and working with clients to better understand the positive intentions behind each emotion. 

HCG: The Ugliest of Fad Diets

HCG:  The Ugliest of the Fad Diets

When it comes to fad diets, as long as weight loss is promised, people will follow it, even if they have no idea what they are injecting or swallowing.  This is definitely the case with the HCG diet; ask someone whom is following this fad diet what HCG is, and they will probably respond with a vague or clueless response.

Before discussing the harm this diet can cause, let’s outline the details of how it’s supposed to work.  HCG, Human Chorionic Gonadotropin, is a hormone that supports normal egg development in the ovaries, and stimulates the release of eggs in one phase of a women’s menstrual cycle.  It is also present in the placenta during the first trimester of pregnancy.  How in the modern world of science does this relate to weight loss?  It has been proposed that HCG can tell the brain to use body fat as a fuel source when on a Very Low Calorie Diet (VLCD), instead of breaking down muscle mass, which normally occurs during inadequate calorie consumption.  The use of body fat for energy “tricks” the body into thinking it is receiving adequate calories.  In addition to HCG injections or the ingested droplet form, one must follow a diet that is 800 or less calories per day.

The HCG diet poses a double risk, the first from the hormone itself, and the second from the VLCD.  HCG is prescribed for fertility issues, but in some cases, the following side effects have been reported; fatigue, low energy levels, constipation, blood clots, numbness, tingling, confusion, dizziness, headaches, ovarian hyper-stimulation and cysts, vaginal bleeding, and decreased sperm production and breast enlargement in men.  VLCD’s provide less than 800 calories per day, and may cause gallstones, irregular heartbeat, electrolyte imbalances, and low energy levels.  It is also impossible to meet daily nutritional needs at such a low calorie level.

If the proposed side effects have not sent followers running in the opposite direction, consider the fact that the FDA (Food and Drug Administration) has not approved HCG for weight loss, and it has not been proven that its use results in weight loss.

Those on the HCG diet may lose weight, but this is solely from the VLCD.  When considering the VLCD separate from the HCG, it is a quick fix that often leads to the person gaining all, or even more weight that was lost.  Several doctors believe VLCDs are safe when medically supervised, but as a dietitian, the writer of this note, in most cases, never recommends meal plans that provide less than 1500 calories per day.

Weight loss is more successful and long-term when clients are taught how to create well-balanced meals, and incorporate an exercise program as part of a healthier lifestyle.  Off-and-on use of VLCDs causes one’s metabolism (the ability to use food for energy) to become less effective, and weight loss more difficult.  When thinking about it, a body that is frequently starved wants to hold on to everything possible in order to survive.  Finally, the diet component of the HCG plan is chock-full of rules and regulations; only 2 meals per day, no butter or oils, 1 tablespoon of milk per day, 1 protein/1 vegetable/1 bread/1 fruit per meal, and each food group has a minimal list of “allowed foods.”  It makes one wonder, who made these lists, and what is the logic behind the chosen and unchosen foods?

In considering all of this, the smart consumer is the educated consumer.  If effortless weight loss is promised, treat it like a stop sign; before proceeding do the research!  Advertised weight loss products and diets often fail because their restrictive nature leads to frustration, many possible side effects, and a rapid weight loss that is temporary and unhealthy.

Michel D. Harris, RD, LDN, CDE!

Michel D. Harris is a Registered Dietitian with 14 years of experience as a clinical and outpatient dietitian.  Her areas of practice include eating disorders, weight loss and management, diabetes, cardiovascular disease, cancer, and food allergies/gluten sensitivity.  As an exercise physiologist, she also assists individuals of all fitness levels in planning exercise programs.

At the Awakening Center, Michel provides individual nutrition consultations, as well as multiple group classes and workshops.  Individual sessions include the development of a comprehensive wellness plan that focuses on establishing a healthy relationship with food and exercise, as well as identifying and changing detrimental eating behaviors/patterns.  The nutrition counseling and mindful eating groups allow individuals to share and receive help with the recovery process via discussion of certain topics and activities.  If you would like to speak with Michel regarding your interest in any of her services, please contact her at 773-929-6262 x24 ormeishadivito@yahoo.com.

Eat, Don't Drink Your Calories!

Before you read this week's post, I'd like to introduce you to The Awakening Center's newest nutritionist, Michel D. Harris, RD, LDN, CDE!

Michel D. Harris is a Registered Dietitian with 14 years of experience as a clinical and outpatient dietitian.  Her areas of practice include eating disorders, weight loss and management, diabetes, cardiovascular disease, cancer, and food allergies/gluten sensitivity.  As an exercise physiologist, she also assists individuals of all fitness levels in planning exercise programs.

At the Awakening Center, Michel provides individual nutrition consultations, as well as multiple group classes and workshops.  Individual sessions include the development of a comprehensive wellness plan that focuses on establishing a healthy relationship with food and exercise, as well as identifying and changing detrimental eating behaviors/patterns.  The nutrition counseling and mindful eating groups allow individuals to share and receive help with the recovery process via discussion of certain topics and activities.  If you would like to speak with Michel regarding your interest in any of her services, please contact her at 773-929-6262 x24 or meishadivito@yahoo.com.

 Eat, Don’t Drink Your Calories

Liquid nutrition in the form of juices and smoothies has grown in popularity over the past few years.  Many popular fast food facilities have added what they claim to be, “fresh-squeezed” juices, and thick, blended produce concoctions to their offerings.  One particular chain, Jamba Juice©, specializes in this juicing and smoothie craze.  Sales for juicing appliances have also risen. 

While some use these beverages for pure refreshment, many have alternative reasons for their use, in which the most common is for weight loss.  In addition, clients that seek nutrition counseling services have shared that they feel “better”, “natural”, or “clean” when going on a “juice fast,” or using it as part of a weight loss plan.  Then there is the handful of clients that use juices and smoothies for extra calories when trying to gain weight or as post-workout fuel.

The big question is, do these beverages really help with weight loss, and deliver the promised antioxidants and other health benefits?  Ideally, a food or beverage that is part of a weight loss meal plan should include fiber and protein, with a reasonable amount of calories.  Therefore, a person following a 1500 calorie meal plan would allow 400-500 calories per meal.  Fiber expands when it enters the stomach to provide a feeling of “fullness,” while protein provides satiety, a.k.a., the sense of satisfaction.  Researchers suspect that protein slows or stops the activity of ghrelin, a hormone that communicates to the brain that we are hungry.

Another consideration: several recent studies have shown that calorie-containing beverages, when provided with a meal, do not promote satiety because subjects consumed similar, or in some cases more calories, when compared to those who drank a zero-calorie beverage at the same meal.  From this, we can question if a juice or smoothie as a “meal” would lead to early hunger pains, and actually promote excess snacking or over-eating at meals.  Doesn’t this also support the fact that the process of chewing contributes to the satisfaction of the eating process?

So how does this apply to our liquid nutrition?  Juicing and blending processes break down the fiber in fruits and vegetables, reducing their effectiveness as a stomach-filler, and neither is a significant source of protein.  Calorie-wise, it may take four pieces of fruit to make one glass of juice for a total of 240-480 calories, depending on the size, and type of fruits used.  Smoothies usually contain yogurt, peanut butter, and other add-ins that provide protein, but additional calories.  After investigating, it was found that a fresh-squeezed juice from a popular establishment contained 210 calories, 3 grams of protein, and 1 gram of fiber, while a medium smoothie had 410 calories, 4 grams of fiber, and 6 grams of protein.

In the case of juicing, adding the pulp back into the juice for fiber and protein powder, as well as substituting vegetables for less calories, will make an improved drink.  The smoothie example may sound reasonable in regards to calories, fiber, and protein, but instead of these liquids, one can do much better with one of the following solid breakfasts…

A Greek yogurt parfait with 1 cup of plain yogurt, 1 cup of fresh blueberries, and 1 ounce of slivered almonds provides 370 calories, 6 grams of fiber, and 30 grams of protein.

A breakfast sandwich made with 2 egg whites, 1 tomato slice, 1 turkey sausage patty, and one whole wheat sandwich thin with a side of fresh berries provides 325 calories, 9 grams of fiber, and 18 grams of protein.

As far as antioxidants, fresh produce when blended or eaten whole contains these valuable nutrients!

To conclude this debate, from a dietitian’s perspective and experience, consuming solid foods provides more satisfaction than drinking calories, especially when trying to lose weight.  Many clients try the liquid meal approach to lose weight, but quickly abandon it because they feel hungry hours before their next meal.  Also, people with diabetes often experience high blood glucose levels with either juices or smoothies because of the high carbohydrate content.  For both of the solid meals above, one gets a significant amount of fiber, protein, and antioxidants, with more satisfaction and flavor variety.

The jury agrees…Eat, don’t drink your calories!!!

NEDA Awareness

Today's post will be adopted from post the Women's Health Foundation blog, written by one of our own interns, Nancy Hall.

I’m often confused by “awareness” campaigns. Many of the causes that have awareness weeks or months are already on our collective radar. How far does “awareness” go in actually addressing the needs of those who suffer from the particular illness or condition?

This is National Eating Disorders Awareness week, but let’s face it—most of us have heard of eating disorders. We know about women who starve themselves because they’re terrified of gaining weight; we hear tales of bingeing and purging cycles so severe that the person’s teeth rot. But how often have we heard the words “anorexic” or “bulimic” used as an accusation or insult? Do we laugh at jokes about someone’s binge eating? We’re certainly aware of these conditions—but where is the compassion?

According to NEDA, 20 million women and 10 million men suffer from an eating disorder. Desperate loved ones often feel helpless. The husband of a woman with anorexia tells her “just eat!” Parents of the young man with binge-eating disorder tell him “just eat smaller portions!” That word “just” crops up a lot and makes something so complicated seem so simple. There is nothing simple about recovering from an eating disorder. But it is possible and starts with compassion and understanding.

I am currently interning at The Awakening Center [[note--include hyperlink www.awakeningcenter.net]], a private psychotherapy practice that specializes in treating eating disorders, anxiety, trauma, depression, and other life challenges. Each of my clients and members of our ED support groups work hard to recover. They describe pain, shame, fear, and anger. They search for peace that at times seems unattainable. Triggers are everywhere, and they fear slipping back into old patterns. And they struggle to overcome the shame and stigma attached to their eating disorder.

The theme of this year’s NEDAwareness [[note—this spelling is correct; include hyperlink www.nedawarenessweek.org]] week is “I had no idea.” Those simple words strung together pack a powerful punch. They prompt us to go beyond simple awareness. “I had no idea” compels us to face the myths and biases that we have about people with eating disorders.

Amy Grabowski, LCPC ATR, founder of The Awakening Center, often quotes Milton Erikson: “What is now a problem was once a solution.” Restricting food, bingeing and purging, or bingeing all were once solutions to deal with anxiety, depression, trauma, and so forth. But these coping mechanisms become entrenched and have little to do with food, exercise, or weight. So treatment needs to go beyond calorie intake. Recovery comes from healing old wounds and learning to accept the body, mind, and spirit. New solutions to anxiety are discovered and toolboxes are filled with new skills.

If you or a loved one is suffering from an eating disorder, it’s OK to admit what you don’t know. Start with the words “I had no idea” and see where that leads. Think about your assumptions and you might realize “I had no idea someone could be at a normal weight and still have a binge-eating disorder.” Educate yourself about the consequences of anorexia and you might say “I had no idea so many die from this illness.” Find the compassion within yourself to get help and you might hear yourself say “I had no idea I could find peace.”

Nancy Hall

Candidate for master’s degree in clinical mental health

Graduate intern at The Awakening Center

http://womenshealthfoundation.org/national-eating-disorders-awareness-week/

Capturing Recovery Moments

Capturing Recovery Moments
Amy Grabowski, MA, LCPC

This is the time of the year when most clients reflect upon the past year and make plans for where they want to be in the coming year.  Unfortunately, most clients find themselves feeling discouraged because they aren’t where they think they “should” be in their recovery.  Their critical ‘Part’ tells them they aren’t far enough along or that their progress is too slow.  The Critic, stuck in its all-or-nothing thinking, often sets them up for failure by demanding huge “Momma may I Giant Leaps” of progress: “Starting today we will never make any mistakes and always say the right thing.”  “We will never overeat and will always stick to our diet.”  “We will never leave the house unless we are impeccably groomed and dressed.”  

Clients then complain in therapy, “I don’t think this is working.  I’ve been coming here for two months and I’m still overeating.  In fact talking about all the other stuff seems to be making the eating worse.”  Their Critic says “If you are not completely binge and purge free without effort then you are not recovering.”  The Critic discounts all the small steps of progress towards recovery. 

I encourage my clients at this time to “Capture Recovery Moments” every day.  Greeted with a quizzical look, I explain that every day we are given opportunities to learn about ourselves and about our body and to make small changes that add up to steps of recovery progress.  If we look for and capture these moments our recovery moves forward at a faster pace.  But at the same time I remind my clients, “You can only go as fast as your slowest Part.  Your recovery will take as long as it needs to take.”

I also have to remind them that there are two halves of recovery – the food/eating/ weight half and the thoughts/feelings/moods half.  Both of these halves are important and you cannot make progress in only one without making progress in the other.  This would be like walking using only one foot – you don’t get very far unless the other foot takes steps too.  (Editors note: See Article: “Both Halves of Recovery” from Vol 8 #3, September-December 2002 on our website:http://www.awakeningcenter.net/newsletter/septdec2002.htm#1.) 

Capturing recovery moments can be as structured or unstructured as you want it to be.  You can set aside specific time, say an hour before bedtime, to writing in a journal as you reflect upon your day.  Or you could use little “snatches” of time already in your schedule, for example simply practicing relaxation and deep breathing while riding the bus.

One of the goals of capturing recovery moments is to become more mindful and to increase awareness of your body sensations, thoughts and emotions – something I like to call “Noticing the Noticing.”  A simple example: While riding the L home from work, Ellen noticed her shoulders were tense.  While she was noticing her tense shoulders she then noticed that a critical voice yelled at her, “What do you have to be tense about?!  Don’t be such a wimp!”  Usually she would begin to feel worthless at this point but instead she felt surprised at how quickly the yelling began, “I never noticed before that I yell at myself for such inconsequential incidents.”  She wrote this down in her calendar as a reminder to discuss this in her next therapy session.  Even though on the surface it did not appear to be a “Giant Leap” she somehow knew this was a major “A-ha!” moment in her recovery. 

Another goal of capturing recovery moments is to use every difficult situation and every “slip” as an opportunity to learn.  If something happens and you just yell at yourself, learning becomes blocked.  If you can suspend all judgments and criticisms, and allow yourself to step back from the situation or slip, and observe yourself objectively you can learn vast amounts about your Self, body, emotions and relationships.  Once you step back you can ponder, “What was I feeling or thinking before the slip up?  What was I looking for in the moment?  What could I have done differently?  What suggestions would I give to a friend from the ANAD support group?”  You can then apply that learning to the next time a similar situation arises.  If you have trouble or slip up, you simply step back and observe and learn once again. 

Ellen often became anxious in the grocery store and impulsively bought extra food that she didn’t need.  Usually she would get very stern with herself, “You are NOT going to buy any sweets or junk food!  What is wrong with you?!”  Rather than curbing the overbuying, she then bought even more.  

I encouraged Ellen to learn from this difficult situation and look at it not as a failure, but rather an opportunity to learn about herself and grow.  Imagining herself in the grocery store, she described the point at which she noticed the anxiety start.  We were able to connect the anxiety to a young Part of herself who was afraid she was not going to be fed.  This reminded Ellen of times in her childhood when her parents left the children home alone to fend for themselves.  Ellen resorted to eating raw foods because she was too young to cook.  When Ellen yelled at herself for buying sweets, her young Part panicked even more, fearing that her foods were going to be taken from her thus causing the overbuying. 

By looking at the situation without judgment or criticism, Ellen gained compassion for the young Part of herself.  She realized she needed to remind herself that she was no longer a child dependent upon others who were not there for her.  She promised the young Part there would be food for her to eat and she did not need to overbuy.  If in the future she slipped by yelling and overbuying, she knew it to be a reminder to take time before shopping to reassure the young Part again. 

You're Too Sensitive

You’re Too Sensitive!

Amy Grabowski, MA, LCPC

Since empathy and sensitivity are both right brain qualities, when left-brainers don’t feel things physically or emotionally they don’t believe that you do.  “I’m not scared so you shouldn’t be either.  You’re just too sensitive.”  Left-brainers are also unable to be sensitive to the impact of their words on the right-brainer.  The frustration is that there is no appropriate “come back” to a left-brainer.  “You’re too insensitive” doesn’t have the same “sting” to it.  (It is in my own humble “right-brained” opinion that the world needs more sensitive people.  It would be hard to start a war if you were sensitive to the fact that each soldier has a family who loves him/her.  It would be hard to hate another person if you could empathize with their pain.  So now when someone says to me, “You’re too sensitive.”  I say, “Thank you.”)

Most of the time even reading or hearing the word ‘sensitive’, can feel like a kick in the gut.  It carries such judgment and negative connotations; it feels like a very negative trait to have, as if our reactions are inaccurate.  Like Taylor said, “Mom’s screaming didn’t seem to bother anyone else, like getting used to living next to a noisy airport.  I always wondered, why I couldn’t.  What’s wrong with me?” 

Sensitivity is not a negative trait.  Sensitive people are more empathic, the natural talent to know what other people are feeling, and the ability to walk in that person’s shoes.  We have tact when dealing with others and treat others with genuine warmth and caring; we would make great ambassadors, diplomats, ministers, and other professions that require these skills.  It is what makes me a natural for my career choice as a psychotherapist.  Combined with our creative visual nature, many of my clients are artists, musicians, actors, and writers.  In earlier times or in primitive societies a creative person with sensitive intuitive radar may have been a respected shaman or venerated as a sage. 

According to Elaine N. Aron in her book The Highly Sensitive Person, roughly thirty percent of any population (flamingos, squirrels, zebras, humans) is more sensitive than the rest.  Imagine a herd of zebras grazing in a field.  The sensitive zebras will detect subtle signs of movement off in the distance and will alert the rest of the herd to run away from danger.  Think about what would happen if 100% of the herd was sensitive?  The movement of one zebra lifting its head would alert all the zebras and start a stampede!  Conversely, if none of the zebras were sensitive, a lion would be able to walk right up to the herd and attack them without anyone noticing. 

Sensitive people are special that we have the ability to protect the “herd”.  Unlike zebras, which always want danger pointed out, humans often want to ignore danger.  Family systems can be set up around denying problems – remember what I said before about “Don’t rock the boat!”  It’s not just the sensitivity that causes the problem.  It’s the combination of sensitivity and the invalidating environment that causes a conflict inside.  If you are sensitive and the environment is validating, there is no conflict.  Let’s imagine being brought up by Mr. Rogers – you know the kid’s show on PBS.  When something upset you, he would respond in that wonderfully calming voice, “People can like you just the way you are.  Bad things sometimes happen to good people…” 

Conversely if you were insensitive to an invalidating environment you may not have noticed it, or if you did you would be able to let it roll off your back.  Your siblings may not have “felt” the problems in your environment as sensitively as you did.  (Although don’t assume they didn’t.  Many of my clients have siblings who are deeply troubled, but did not turn to an eating disorder for help.  Even the sisters or brothers who seem to have their act together can be hurting inside too.) 

In addition to being sensitive, people with eating disorders often are outspoken.  Maybe because of our sensitivity we notice more that is going on, more attuned to the environment, see the subtle nuances of others behavior and mood.  Because we are also acutely attuned to our own internal sensations and feelings, often to cope with these feelings we need to say something, which is not always met with positive results. (Although some were able to notice but not say it aloud.) 

I often will read the old story The Emperor’s New Clothes to my clients.  You remember the story:  The Emperor and all his subjects are tricked into pretending that he is wearing “clothing so fine that only a fool could not see them”.  It took the wisdom of a child, an outspoken perceptive child, to speak out, “The Emperor has no clothes” for the sham to come tumbling down!  I ask my clients to imagine the Emperor’s reaction to the child’s remark.  Do you think he said, “Thank you my child for exposing the sham”?  I highly doubt it!  I’m sure that he would have rather the child kept her mouth shut to save him the public humiliation. 

If a family doesn’t want to acknowledge that ‘the Emperor is naked’, the child’s perception and outspoken-ness causes conflicts with the family patterns of denial, “Don’t rock the boat!  We don’t talk about certain things.”  If a child is sensitive to the environment and notices that when Daddy comes home late he’s drunk and mean, she may get put down for this.  She may be asking questions that the family would prefer not to be asked.  And when she gets upset because of a problem in the family that others are trying to deny, she hears, “Don’t be so sensitive.”

We’ve been brought up to be good little girls (and boys); good little children never speak up, never get angry, are pretty and cute.  Good little children are always nice and do what others want.  Good little children never say, “No, I don’t want to kiss Aunt Maybelle, she’s an old crab!”  Oh no!  If we speak up, others won’t like it; we might make others mad and then they won’t like us.  We had to silence our voice and sacrifice our Self for others.  And if we don’t have the choice to say “No” then we never learned the skills, resources and tools necessary to negotiate what life dishes out.  Like the passengers on that runaway bus from chapter 1, we are at the mercy of the whims of our family!  Life feels like a very dangerous and out of control place.

By sacrificing our Selves, by silencing our voice, we took away our power.  Power is having a voice and a choice!  Many times our voice was silenced because we were not encouraged to use it.  In many homes, we didn’t have a choice – it was not safe to say “No.”  In other homes, the choice was made for us; we didn’t have control over our own lives.  Without a voice and a choice, we were powerless – you swallow your voice, you sacrifice your Self and you give Aunt Maybelle a kiss because that’s what good little children do….