Stress and Coping:Cara Chill

Stress and Coping

Cara Chill

As a senior in college, I often refer to my life as a balancing act.  It is up to me to maintain good grades while applying to graduate programs, doing research, volunteering, and interning.  As much as I love staying busy, it sometimes becomes overwhelmingly stressful.  I am sure most individuals also have this contradicting life style of trying to keep busy without becoming overloaded.  Personally, I feel stress in small increments can be beneficial, it gives us a reason to get out of bed our start our day.  However, chronic stress can be detrimental to our well-being and may cause physical, emotional, and psychological harm. 

There have been many times in my life where I have felt unsure on how to cope with stress and after years of experimenting, I found working out.  Working out had always been something I incorporated into my life but I never looked at it as a way to manage my stress.  I usually looked at working out as a way to be healthy and keep myself fit but today, it is a simple way for me to deal with stress.  Exercising not only gives me time to think about things in my life, it also ironically, provides a momentary escape from reality and allows me to work on the parts of myself that need some TLC. For me, the best feeling I could give myself is a nice workout followed by a shower and a good nights’ sleep.  Whenever I am stressed and do my routine of working out and getting enough sleep, I wake up feeling refreshed and prepared to start my day. Exercising is also beneficial because it releases endorphins which make you feel good that may also help when dealing with stress. 

            I understand that exercising may require time and planning which not everyone can dedicate to.  Also, some people would rather cope with their stress in a different way other than by working out. In that case, there are many other things that have been found to help decrease stress and some take little to no time at all!

1.      Laugh- it is so simple and you will have fun doing it.  Laughter reduces tension and improves blood flow to the heart.  So when stressed, spend some time with a friend or rent a funny movie and forget about your worries.

2.      Write/ keep a journal- it is also great to record your thoughts and feelings and writing your troubles down can be soothing and also a great way to release tension and look at the situation from a different perspective.

3.      Spend time with those you love- spending time in a place you feel relaxed with those you love provides you with a sense of comfort gives you a sense of belonging and purpose.

4.      Meditate- when you feel tension take some time and take deep breathes.  This can be calming and bring you solace.

5.      Be thankful- there is always something or someone to be thankful for and sometimes we tend to focus on the negative things in our lives instead of all the wonderful things.  It is always refreshing to remember all the positive things in our lives. 

Breathe, Pause, Consider

Breathe, Pause, Consider

Having an eating disorder is like being a passenger in a rickety old school bus which is speeding down a winding mountain road at night in a blinding thunderstorm. The bus is careening off the guardrails with each turn and picking up speed as it goes along. If this wasn’t bad enough, notice there’s no driver on the bus!

Recovering is like making your way to the front of the bus and getting in the driver’s seat. Imagine with all your senses, feel it in your body as you make your way to the front of the bus. Experience sitting in the driver’s seat. What is the very first thing you would do in this situation?

You probably would reply, “Put my foot on the brake and stop the bus!”

Yes! Once the bus is stopped, you can sit there, as long as you need, to calmly make the decisions necessary to steer the bus to safety. Then, you can start to slowly drive the bus forward again.

An important tool towards recovery is as simple as taking a breath. In the momentary pause of that one breath we can step back and notice what’s going on. Then from our Self, from the place of peace and wisdom within us, we can consider our options –rather than from an emotional knee-jerk reaction.

Early in our lives, we learned to react to situations quickly, without thinking, to protect ourselves from getting hurt or getting in trouble. When these knee jerk reactions were successful, they were reinforced and became habitual. If when we were a child every time someone was angry we quickly tried to fix whatever was wrong, we will be conditioned to fix everyone’s problems as an adult. Not that fixing problems is bad or wrong, but if deep inside a young part of us frantically feels it is her responsibility to fix everything every time anyone is angry then we carry that anxiety and burden with us constantly.

We can practice taking a breath, pausing and considering until it becomes natural to us. Imagine a recent situation that where, in hindsight, you realize now that you felt like Life was racing down the mountain without a driver and you wish you had handled it differently. Maybe something that made your Parts react like in the old days. Now, take a deep breath, filling the bottom lobe of your lungs, holding it and then letting the breath out in a sigh. Repeat a few times until you feel a Pause – like Life has momentarily slowed down. In that Pause, feel yourself step into the wisdom of your Self; ask all your Parts to step back so your Inner Wisdom can see the situation objectively. Consider any and all options. It may help to ask, “What would my best friend do in this situation? What would I suggest to my best friend if the situation happened to her?” Then imagine yourself handling the situation using these suggestions from a place of peace and wisdom within.

I would love to hear your comments about trying this new tool.

Namaste,

Amy

Amy Grabowski, MA, LCPC has written a book about recovery from eating disorders. She is in the process of finding a publisher! She can be reached at (773) 929-6262 x 11 or awakeningcenter@aol.com