I am a garden, not a landfill.

A few years ago, I found myself getting slowly pulled into a world filled with what I like to call “Junk food Journalism”. I was continually turning to media sources that were laced, if not fully entrenched, in sensationalism. Readers were attracted through shocking and catchy titles, and then led on a journey through bias, gossip, and creative license. I categorized it as entertainment. I thought, “What possible harm will this cause? I simply enjoy the frivolous and vacuous stories”. It felt like a temporary escape.

However, over time I noticed that I was spending less of my free time on things substantive, and was more frequently turning to these “news” sources. Strangely, I also slowly began to feel a disconnect to things I once found important in my life. I even felt a little empty inside.

One day as I was walking my dog through our neighborhood, I noticed several beautiful spring gardens that were beginning to fully blossom. The thought just popped into my head that, “I am a garden, not a landfill”. It became very powerful to me that I had a choice to either dump loads of shallow and empty thoughts into my head, or I could carefully select and plant thoughts and information that would grow and blossom into something beautiful and meaningful. The latter thought was instantly more appealing.

Since this transformative moment I have found great pleasure in planting this garden in my mind. Over time it has expanded from thoughts and information into choices and actions. When given an option of a news source, or a leisure activity, or even a plate of food I now quietly say to myself, “I am a garden, not a landfill”. More often than not I find myself planting something that will have the opportunity to grow into greater joy, peace, and wellness.

Erin Stitzel is an interning therapist at The Awakening Center. She is a Masters student at Northeastern Illinois University and will graduate and gain licensure in August of 2012. She specializes in eating disorders, depression, anxiety, trauma, and grief. She runs the Saturday Eating Disorder Recovery Drop In Support Group at TAC on Saturday mornings from 10-11:30am. For more information please call 773.929.6262 (ext.12).

Living Life Rather Than Getting Through It

I had the privilege of getting away for a long weekend and finally enjoying the sun, sand, and water that I so look forward to as summer rolls in. Before the trip I had a feeling of restless anticipation, a sense of really needing to get away from the day to day craziness of Chicago. I felt like a little kid sitting by the door saying “Can we go yet?”

I wondered why I was so anxious to get away. As I settled into the first day of the vacation I began to slow down and enjoy all the benefits of vacation. Having no set schedule, nowhere to be, and no one expecting anything from me, I quickly settled into the leisurely pace of the small beach community. I soaked up the sun, read a great book, and enjoyed the peaceful flow of the waves. I began to realize how relaxed I felt and how good it was to just slow down. I noticed things that often get overlooked. The gorgeous blue sky, the pure joy on my dog’s face as he chased a Frisbee around the beach, the gestures of love and connection from my friends.

I had the sense of being reminded of what it is like to really be in the moment. So often I encourage clients and challenge myself to take time, give ourselves what we need, notice what we are feeling and needing, and appreciate all the many gifts of the day. Well these few days away from my routine were a great reminder of that. I felt like a bit of a different person, more connected and more at peace. You can argue it was because I was on vacation but this same sense of being doesn’t always settle into every vacation.

As I returned home I began to think of ways that I could emulate this vacation experience. I realized how many choices in my day that keep me from having this sense of peace and connection with myself. I too often don’t give myself enough time and end up feeling rushed, always a few minutes behind schedule or screeching in right on time. I make lists that I feel like have to be done today, right now as if the world will end if everything isn’t taken care of. I choose mindless distractions rather than things that will really enrich my day. I let the tasks of the day or frustrations of the day interfere with really connecting and just being with others.

The time away was not just a few days to get refreshed, enjoy a place I love and people I love. It was a reminder to slow down in every day of life and start to incorporate these little things throughout my days so I can have that same sense of peace and connection. Creating the time and space for ourselves is so crucial and yet so often gets pushed to the side. I wonder what things you may want to incorporate into your days and also consider what aspects of the day interfere with this time needed for ourselves. I hope a few moments of a peaceful lazy summer day can be incorporated to both my days and yours.

Jennifer Schurman, MA, LPC

Jen sees individuals, couples and families for therapy as well as leads the Monday evening Eating Disorder Therapy Group. She can be reached at (773) 929-6262 x 20 if you would like more information.

Spring Cleaning

I tackled my closets this weekend and began the process of a serious spring cleaning mission. I have been thinking about all the areas of the house that so quickly get disorganized, stuffed and just messy. So this was the weekend to get down to business.

I began in the guest room by beginning to go through my spring clothes and packing away the winter clothes. Very quickly I realized how big this job was going to be and that this wasn’t really going to be a relaxing Saturday. I was amazed at how much stuff I was hanging onto that I hadn’t even used or frankly knew was there. So I know the rules about if you haven’t used it in a year get rid of it! But what was keeping me from letting go? Is there really the chance that all my clothes will be dirty someday and I just may need another t-shirt? Is there really the chance that clothes from ten years ago will be in style? How many towels does one home need?

So regretfully I began the toss pile and once I got started it felt good! How nice to be able to close a closet without shoving in falling shoes. How nice to hope a guest doesn’t happen to look in that drawer. So on a very simple level I am loving the result of my hard work. Clean closets, more space, less clutter. The thing that’s funny is that I truly am a clean person. Everything to the eye looks shiny, picked up and clean. Just don’t open my closet or drawers! It got me thinking about the many areas of our lives that we allow to get stuffed, cluttered and just plain messy.

What keeps us hanging onto what we don’t need? What gets in the way of living with more simplicity? What does it mean to not give enough attention to the hall closets and pantry shelves of our lives? Obviously the spring cleaning got me thinking a bit deeper than making room in my tiny Chicago closets. It made me think about how many times we get stuck in life in not giving certain areas of life and ourselves the attention we deserve and require. How often we are nagged by certain areas of our lives that are filled with chaos or clutter yet we shove the door shut and pretend the mess isn’t there. What a relief to take stock, sort through the disaster, make decisions and have nothing hiding or needing to be covered.

It was such a joy to look at my closet this morning and have no mess in sight! I made a resolution to keep it this way and continue sorting. I still have more areas to conquer and maintain but that clean closet gives me motivation. So I hope this notion of spring cleaning inspires you to also roll up your sleeves and perhaps tackle whatever needs to be tidied up a bit. Likewise it may be a good reminder to check in with ourselves and think about what emotional clutter may be getting in the way of us living with more simplicity, freedom and peace of mind. What a nice treat to come back home to a place that invites us in and has nothing to hide.

Warmly,

Jennifer Schurman, MA, LPC