Listen!

As a graduate student I have the tendency to run myself ragged.  There seems to be this little voice in the back of my head saying “you don’t have time to sit around!”  I come home from school or work and feel that I have to do more, clean my apartment or finish a paper.  This voice criticizes me for taking a break to watch TV or take a nap, telling me “you need to be more productive!”  Usually I can keep this up for a couple of months until the end of the semester when my body finally surrenders and I get sick.  I think this is my body’s way of forcing me to slow down. 

Lately however, I have been starting to challenge myself in this area.  Maybe it’s the fact that graduation is so near or that I’m simply tired of my scheduled colds, but I have started to practice truly listening to my body.  When I’m tired I take a nap, when I’m hungry I take a break to eat, when my body asks me to sit on the couch and watch reruns of the Brady Bunch I do it.  I have found that the more in tune I am with my body, the more I respect what it needs, and the more I respect it’s needs, the more my body is able to give back to me.  By giving my body the breaks that it needs on a regular basis, it is able to give me the energy and concentration I need to really be present at work and school. 

For me this not only applies to giving my body physical breaks, but mental ones too.  I don’t feel like it’s really a break when I go for a walk and spend the whole time stressing out about work I need to get done.  When I get back from the walk I feel no more rejuvenated or motivated than when I left.  My mind needs just as much breaks as my body, to go on Facebook or read a good book (not in the form of a textbook).  So I challenge you to take the time to listen to your own body.  You might be surprised at how much it has to say!

By: Kaitlyn Gitter

Don't Be Afraid of the Dark

 Remember childhood? Do you remember camping in the dark or making forts and turning off the lights.  Reading under the covers by flashlight? Did you have a secret cubby or hiding place that was safe for you? Ever notice how the pirates bury treasure, sometimes in a cave – sometimes a dark cave. As adults, we sometimes lose touch with those hidden places which have such treasures of self knowledge.  We learn to bury the treasure and leave it buried.

Whether it is commitment to a deeper relationship to yourself, to your spirit, or just plain and simple curiosity, when we explore those dark cubbies of the psyche we find treasures.  Most of our daily activities are lived in unconsciousness.  For me, one of the most wonderful things about having a life is about engaging in the present moment. I don’t stay in the present moment all the time.  This is mostly healthy and allows us to get through the day – unless we have the job of say, the Dalai Lama.  But there are times, even seasons built into our lives to allow us an opportunity to get in touch with the dark or unconscious. When we deny the shadow, it often persists in the form of jealousy or judgement. If I deny myself those sassy red heels and then I see the girl who bought a pair of equally sassy red heals, I may feel a little judgemental, dumbfounded, competitive or even judgemental. Why does she give herself permission that I don’t? Well, that could be a looooooong story. Our shadows, dark places and forbidden parts hold all sorts of information. In our society, we try so hard to keep it together, to keep the dark from seeping out.  But the seeping out…is pure genius, especially if it is done consciously. (Especially if done in sassy red heels!)

When I’m working with my clients, I invite them (and myself) to listen to what the dark is trying to say. What is that message just below the surface? If you crawl under that blanket, crawl into the cubby and sit with the surroundings and flash just a little bit of a flashlight beam on the storybook , what do you learn? Does it whisper to you? I often ask, what are you NOT supposed to see, know, hear, etc.? Maybe you prefer to go into meditation to let the below-the-surface information come up for you. I like to journal about it and let the resistance melt away with each written line. Some people stretch to release the unconscious messages told by the body. Others will draw or doodle to let the unconscious thoughts seep through. At the Awakening Center, we treat eating disorders and more. I often ask my clients to go below the surface of the craving, of the binge, of the restricting – to sit with those dark moments. In that space, there is a treasure trove of information.

A long time ago I read a quote from Bono of U2. He said for so long they ran away from the big rock star image. They thought it would make them into sell-outs. Finally, the popularity surrounded them and they simply had to embrace their greatest fear, the over-the-top rock star persona. And they were genius at it. And the quote went something like, “so we gave the rock star image a big smooch”.

I recently had an experience where my greatest fear became reality. That dark place showed up. I went into it like a cubby. In a way, I had no choice. Everything I’d done to keep it below the surface, all those lovingly proactive steps blew up. There is something raw and truthful about being with the dark. It allows us to be in present time. The opposite is true when we avoid the dark.  For me, I found gratitude. For me, I found places in which I could bring in more self love.

So, as Spring and Summer bring light to our days, consider bringing light to those hidden messages. Exploration opens up new and broader ranges of possibilities. Don’t be afraid of the dark. 

By: Erin Diedling

Seeking Truth: Erin Diedling

By: Diana Hinojosa

“What makes you happy?” According to Erin Diedling, this is one of the most difficult, yet rewarding questions that her clients have faced in their path to recovery. Erin believes that the best way to handle difficult times with her clients is to provide them with gentleness and to identify their true moments of happiness.

She says, “I will always try to acknowledge when they’re happy, but you have to take the time for it, and I want happiness for all of my clients.”

Erin realized she wanted to become a part of this helping profession ever since she was fourteen. After borrowing books from her own therapist and having a friend advise her to become a part of a field that would allow her to think for herself, Erin knew she was on the right path. 

Her interest in the mystical parts of psychology have encouraged her to ask herself questions as to why people act the way they do, and it has encouraged her to explore the different paths of people in their journey to recovery. 

She says, “I think somatic experiences bring it all together,” Somatic experiences in therapy allows the clients to really feel and channel their thoughts and emotions. This could be very powerful, but the client needs to be comfortable enough to allow him or herself to have those feelings. 

After volunteering for some time at Chicago’s Women Health Center, Erin was able to use her trauma training experience to assist clients with eating disorders at The Awakening Center.

She says, “I realize how lucky I am to be here. It is such a supportive group, ethically, legally, and educationally, it’s like a think tank and a family at the same time. It is quiet, and no one asks for credit, but the unifying theme with my colleagues and the honor of being of being part of this team is the high caliber of talent.”

More than anything, Erin appreciates that at The Awakening Center, the goal is to treat the person with the mission to heal and she feels lucky to be a part of a team that approaches their work with sacredness.

“There is a commitment to positive change,” she says, “Everyone here is on their path, their inquiry, driven by curiosity. We have people that want to seek truth, and that makes this a special place. Everyone on the team is on a path to greater peace, self-awareness.”

Use it or Lose it! Your Brain, that is!

Barbara Bednarz, a licensed Brain Gym® instructor will be leading a workshop at The Awakening Center on Sunday April 22, from 1-4pm. I asked Barbara to write about Brain Gym® - to explain what is so special about it. Here's what she shared with us:

Use it or Lose it! Your Brain, that is!

Tears came to my eyes and a flood of memories washed over me recently as I finished reading an article: “A Test You Need To Fail: A Teacher’s Open Letter To Her 8th Grade Students” by Ruth Ann Dandrea, Rethinking Schools (03.26.12 on http://www.alternet.org/ ). The article is Dandrea’s apology to her students for administering (or, as she says, “inflicting”), by mandate of course, a standardized exam. She apologized for the stupidity of the test. Student answers which were thoughtful, thought-provoking, insightful and which did not fit the mold of the test had to be marked wrong. This pained her and drove her to write the letter. She encouraged her students to continue their critical thinking and to be proud of their zeroes because of what they signify.

I reminisced on my thirty years as a high-school teacher where in the late 1990's I was forced to stop teaching one day a week in order to teach test-taking skills for multiple-choice standardized exams. I, too, was pained at this and at the awful exams which had multiplied in numbers over the years.

I also thought of the beautiful tool which I shared with my students: Brain Gym®. Brain Gym® movements and processes ensure good communication between and among the various parts of the brain, and between the brain and body and vice versa. My students used Brain Gym® before and during tests and standardized exams. They eagerly used movements which helped them with memory, focusing, vision and comprehension. They also relieved test-stress with Brain Gym®. Students who in past years could never finish a standardized exam within the allotted time-frame, were now able to do so. I shared in their great excitement over this!

My students used Brain Gym® for stress relief off campus as well. I just loved how they became self-empowered with this tool! One of my favorite memories is of a little freshman who had a police record. One morning, she avoided a fight on a public bus by using one of the Brain Gym® movements - she knew she couldn’t afford another police encounter. She was very thrilled with the result, as was I when she shared her story with the class.

I started every class with a few minutes of Brain Gym® and also plugged it in when needed during class. Over time I witnessed many profound, positive changes in my students: behavior, self-management, communication, organization, and last, but not least, cognitive function. This is good stuff, I thought! And teaching became easier and more fun for me!

I continued to take Brain Gym® classes until I became a licensed instructor/consultant. I left teaching in 2001 have been teaching Brain Gym® full-time ever since. I’ve trained people from all walks of life, all age levels and in all situations. One of my favorite clients was an eighty-year-old woman with dementia. While Brain Gym® didn’t “cure” her dementia, the woman improved her day-to-day functioning tremendously. She changed from being cranky and ill-tempered, living in pajamas, to having a pleasant demeanor., enjoying good grooming and willingly going for walks, to movies and to restaurants. The more she transformed, the more her family enjoyed her.

As I reflect back on the past decade, I’m so very grateful for this tool called Brain Gym®.

Barbara Bednarz, Licensed Brain Gym® Instructor/Consultant

Move Smart Center, Grayslake, IL

For more information about the Brain Gym® workshop please contact Barbara at:

847.543.1684; movesmart@att.net

Or visit this website:

http://campaign.r20.constantcontact.com/render?llr=6lkc6tcab&v=001AOTdCtwnZM_hwHW8RURT4C3kGnAvjUjyJmPN8O8CONmUK3OKoJQZMD9nwUiPbzzV9FOiDbFAOuPxGrJO8fylqcYTFGHmtzJ6_hT7FRatqGEH5fNlXcymA-NW-vAGWtn7u9Ce-Ry72yg%3D

My Own Happiness Project

I am currently immersed in Gretchen Rubin’s memoir, The Happiness Project, an account of the year she spent figuring out how to be happier. Putting theory into practice, I have recently begun my own ‘pursuit of happiness,’ incorporating Rubin’s thoughtful insights into my daily life, and slowly creating my own happiness project. One of the fundamental themes I have absorbed from this stimulating reading is that happiness is a choice. Accordingly, one of Rubin’s ‘happiness commandments’ is: Act the way I want to feel. Although we think that we act because of the way we feel, in fact, we often feel because of the way we act. I found comfort and take great stock in the following, realizing that I do, in fact, have control in my own happiness. Rubin suggests what she refers to as ‘fake it till you feel it.’ Essentially, feelings follow actions. If you’re feeling low, you deliberately act cheery, and you will likely find yourself actually feeling happier. Even harder, if you’re feeling angry with someone, do something thoughtful for him/her and your feelings toward him/her will likely soften, referred to in Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) as ‘opposite to emotion action.’ This strategy is uncannily effective! Thanks to this great read, I have been reminding myself on a daily basis that striving for happiness is a choice within my control, and one that I not only value but am committed to. Overall, I have highly enjoyed Rubin’s memoir thus far, as I have found it subtly impacting my own daily life! Good luck to others as they embark in their own happiness projects!

Jaclyn Jarvis, MA

Jaclyn Jarvis is a third year doctoral student at The Chicago School of Professional Psychology. She is an intern therapist at The Awakening Center. She specializes in eating disorders, depression, anxiety, and health psychology. Jaclyn co-leads the Dialetical Behavior Therapy (DBT) group on Monday evenings from 6:30-8:00 p.m. and leads the ‘Filling Your Toolbox’ therapy group on Wednesday evenings from 6:00-7:30 p.m.

The Role of the RD in Eating Disorder Treatment

The Registered Dietitian (RD) is often part of a multidisciplinary eating disorder treatment team, including doctors, psychiatrists, and therapists. Clients sometimes have the misconception that the only thing an RD will provide during treatment is a meal plan. However, the role of an RD in the treatment of eating disorders involves addressing much more. This role also includes discussing eating behaviors and beliefs in the context of the eating disorder. This is why working with an RD in addition to a therapist or doctor is so important.

Are you thinking about seeing an RD for disordered eating or eating disorder behaviors? Here are a few topics you can expect an RD to address throughout the counseling process:

1. Adequacy: Is the amount of energy taken in during the day adequate to support daily activities - from taking a shower to visiting the gym?

2. Balance: Does intake include every food group in a sufficient amount?

3. Variety: Does intake cover every food in way that vitamin and mineral needs are being met?

4. Autonomy: Is intake based on personal preferences or the expectations of others?

5. Confidence: Is intake based on internal cues or a fixed schedule? Is there ever regret surrounding food choices made? Are daily activities chosen based on what type of food will be available?

6. Legalization: Are there foods that are believed to be "bad" or "good"? What would it take to decriminalize foods so they are no longer in these categories, but instead seen as "supportive to my recovery" or "fueling/energizing for my body"?

7. Affect: Are beliefs about food and nutrition affecting physical and mental health or medication needs?

8. Rules: What misconceptions, harmful rules, or harmful beliefs exist about food and eating?

9. Sensory: How well does the client experience the sensory side of eating - the tastes, smells, and sounds?

10. Support: What activities can be provided to assist with the recovery process, such as cooking classes, therapeutic meal classes, or grocery shopping trips?

As you can see, the RD does much more than serve as the "food police". The RD's role in treating eating disorders and disordered eating cannot by filled by any other discipline, as the RD is truly the expert. If you or someone you know is struggling, encourage them to have the courage to find help.

Katie (Murtha) Davis MS, RD, CSSD, LDN

Owner, RDKate Sports Nutrition Consulting

Board Certified Specialist in Sports Dietetics

How Depression Lies to You - Part 3

How Depression Lies to You – Part 3

I absolutely love my job! For 26 years as a counselor, I have been blessed with the honor of working with thousands of people who I found incredibly delightful – friendly, warm, sensitive, funny, smart, creative! I look forward to spending time with these amazing women and men.

But that is not how they see themselves. Oh no! They have been deceived by another of Depression’s lies: “There is something wrong with me; I’m just not lovable.”

Listen to Kendra in a therapy session after a friend’s wedding:

“I’m so depressed. I had a good time at the wedding, but as the evening wore on, I felt more and more alone. I just know I’ll never get what my friend has; I’ll never be loved like she is. There’s something wrong with me deep inside; I’m just not loveable. I’ve felt it all my life. Even as a child I felt I was a big disappointment to my parents.”

(If you read my other two blogs in this series – the links are below – I’m sure you can spot the first lie – give yourself a quarter for every absolute that is not absolutely true! You can also hear the second lie, “You’ll never feel any better.”)

There’s actually two parts to this lie. The first part is “Everything that anyone has ever taught me about who I am is correct.” The second part is “You have to be perfect to be loved/loveable.” I will cover the second part in my next blog in this series.

Depression repeats a lot of nasty messages that you have picked up over the years. If as a child you repeatedly heard “There’s nothing to be afraid of. Don’t be such a scaredy-cat. You’re just being a cry-baby.” then you will incorporate these messages into what I call your ‘Core Belief System.’

Your Core Beliefs are internalized messages from your family, friends, teachers, coaches, culture, and society, which over time eventually become your definition of who you think you are, “I’m a cry baby. I’m a scaredy-cat.”

You might wonder why this is a lie – it seems like the truth, but it isn’t. Labeling someone ‘a cry-baby’ or ‘a scaredy-cat’ is just an opinion – it is not a fact. If you don’t believe me feel the effect of this message instead, “I know you are scared, but there’s nothing to be afraid of. Take a deep breath and see if that helps you stop crying.”

The trouble is you can teach a child to believe anything. I tell my clients that’s how racists are made – babies are not born hating someone based on their appearance. If you repeatedly tell a child “All Slobbovians are dirty people” then the child will come to believe it – whether it is the truth or not.

So if you repeatedly heard as a child “No one loves a fat girl” you will believe it – whether it is true or not. I hope you can find the absolutes in that sentence, “No one! Not one! In the whole world there is not one person who would love a fat girl?!” (Give yourself another quarter.)

Your Core Beliefs may be so deep that you don’t actually “hear” them – you just feel them. And because you’ve felt them for so long, you are not actually aware of them – you just believe them to be true. But just because you’ve believed them for a long long time, does not make them true. They are still just lies that Depression tells you!

Think about all the Core Beliefs that you believe about yourself. Have you ever really studied them? Where did they come from – or more accurately, who did they come from?

Many of my clients were told they were drama queens, too loud, too flamboyant – the exact qualities that I find so delightful! I often ask them, “Who says you’re too flamboyant? What is it about that person that would make them not like flamboyance?”

So now that you’ve uncovered your Core Beliefs what do you do about them? Well just recognizing that you believe certain things about yourself is the first step. The second step is recognizing when you are repeating the belief to yourself. The next step is to question the validity of the belief – is it someone’s long ago opinion or is it a fact – a true fact, and not just another Lie from that lying liar Depression.

Get in touch with your inner Rebel and ask, “Who says?! Who says I am too loud?” Tell yourself, “”Even if I am loud, are people who are loud loveable? Yes!”

I’ll go into the other half of this Lie in my next blog article.

Namastè,

Amy

Here’s the links to the first two articles in this series:

http://awakeningcenter.blogspot.com/2012/02/how-depression-lies-to-you-part-1.html

http://awakeningcenter.blogspot.com/2012/02/how-depression-lies-to-you-part-2.html

Amy Grabowski, MA, LCPC is the director of The Awakening Center which she founded in 1994.