Meditation Monday: Listening

By Nancy Hall, MA, NCC, LPC

In an effort to take the “manic” out of “Monday,” this weekly post explores techniques, issues, latest research, and other thoughts on meditation. Nancy facilitates a weekly meditation group at The Awakening Center. For more information, contact her at 773.929.6262, extension 17 or nancyhalltac@gmail.com

I’m often in awe of our problem-solving abilities. There seems to be no challenge or obstacle that we as people cannot overcome. Human beings can be tireless and able to reach amazing heights.

Doing is very important, but we need to remember to keep it in balance. In meditation, we pause to listen.

Listening is a unique activity in that it requires us to receive instead of do. To really listen to a friend or loved one, we have to stop, focus, and closely tune in. We allow the information to flow in, accepting it as it comes. A barrier to listening is often our attempts to formulate a response while the other person is still talking. Or we might be distracted by an opinion or judgment about what is being said.

We fall into this trap with ourselves as well. Meditation helps us listen to ourselves. We can listen to the surface of the body and to the interior of our experience. We listen to our breath. But we also tune in to our relationship to the information that we’re receiving.

Here’s an example. In my inner reflection and listening, I might notice that I am hungry. But I might resist this information, telling myself that I had a substantial breakfast so I shouldn’t be hungry. I might tell myself that my hunger is a sign of weakness. Or I might just tell myself that it’s time for a snack. Often our resistance or acceptance of our experience informs the emotion that is then experienced.

In the practice of meditation, we listen at different levels. We attend to the specific experience and then notice our thoughts or feelings about that experience. Think of it as the meta-commentary that runs through our minds.

By anchoring ourselves in our breath and learning to allow our experiences to simply exist, we begin to dismantle that resistance.

Nancy Hall, MA, NCC, LPC is a staff therapist and the intake coordinator at The Awakening Center. In addition to seeing clients for individual therapy, she leads the weekly meditation group and co-leads the Somatic-Experience-Informed Trauma Healing Group. Check and subscribe out her blog “All Shapes and Sizes,” which appears on Chicago Tribune’s media partner ChicagoNow.com.

Meditation Monday: The Candle Gaze

By Nancy Hall, MA, NCC, LPC

In an effort to take the “manic” out of “Monday,” this weekly post explores techniques, issues, latest research, and other thoughts on meditation. Nancy facilitates a weekly meditation group at The Awakening Center. For more information, contact her at 773.929.6262, extension 17 or nancyhalltac@gmail.com

“My mind keeps wandering!” It is perfectly natural to become distracted during meditation, but often, we get discouraged and start believing we’re “doing it wrong.” Meditation can become very frustrating when the distraction is followed by self-criticism, which just leads to more distraction.

It takes time to accept our challenges with self-compassion, so in the meantime, using a technique that facilitates focusing can be helpful

The Candle Meditation technique can help build focus but also takes some practice and guidance. But the technique gives the practitioner a relief from self-critical thoughts that can be so discouraging. 

Preparation

Choose your candle carefully. A scented candle is fine as long as the fragrance is agreeable to you. Sneezing and having an itchy nose do not exactly foster relaxation and focus. You want a good-sized flame, so make sure the wick isn’t trimmed too short. Position the candle so that it is at eye level or slightly below. You want it directly in front of you so that you don’t have to turn your head.

The room should be dimly lit to avoid eyestrain; make sure the candle is placed away from breezes or drafts. You want the flame to be as still as possible. 

Meditation

Start by taking a few deep breaths to center yourself. Then allow your gaze to softly rest on the flame. Try to remain as still as possible. Allow the flame to become slightly out of focused. When your eyes become somewhat uncomfortable or begin to water a bit, close your eyes and focus on the after image. Once it fades, return your gaze to the candle. 

Contemplation

As you practice, you might notice that objects in your periphery fade away and all you are aware of is the candle. This is when you can focus your energy toward something virtuous that the candle represents. The candle can allow you to shift into a type of lovingkindness meditation: 

“May light of acceptance replace darkness of fear and hatred.”
“May light of knowledge replace darkness of ignorance.”
“May light of kindness replace darkness of selfishness.”

Follow your breath and imagine you are inhaling candle light, allowing the glow to fill the dark places in your mind and body. 

Completion

When you feel ready, allow your focus to expand to the room around you. Give yourself a few minutes to sit quietly before returning to your activities.

Experiment with this meditation, finding what works for you. See if you notice a difference when you practice other meditation techniques. Introduce music or calming sounds—try different candles. Customize your Candle Meditation and enjoy the results!

Nancy Hall, MA, NCC, LPC is a staff therapist and the intake coordinator at The Awakening Center. In addition to seeing clients for individual therapy, she leads the weekly meditation group and co-leads the Somatic-Experience-Informed Trauma Healing Group. Check and subscribe out her blog “All Shapes and Sizes,” which appears on Chicago Tribune’s media partner ChicagoNow.com.