Virtual Reality Therapy with Susan Morlock, MA, LPC

By Hallie Schwartz

We are living in the golden age of technology, and mental health professionals are finding new and innovative ways to help their clients. Susan Morlock, a staff therapist at The Awakening Center, is one of those innovators.

            Virtual reality therapy offers an entirely new experience to clients. Susan explained that exposure therapy is often used with clients who experience anxiety. Her virtual reality technology brings exposure therapy directly into the office. Susan stated that virtual reality therapy immerses people in their fears in a safe environment. Fear of flying, for example, could be treated using exposure therapy. Clients would be incrementally exposed to entering the airport, checking into a flight, going through airport security, boarding a plane, preparing for take-off, and so on. Likely, this would involve clients driving to and from the airport on multiple occasions. Using virtual reality therapy allows clients to receive a very similar experience without all the travel back and forth.

            I asked Susan about her biggest success story with virtual reality therapy. She was proud to tell me that the technology, along with some additional education, helped one of her clients fly after not going near an airplane for 16 years! 

            Susan purchased her virtual reality equipment from a company called PSIOUS, which is based out of Spain. The virtual reality platform, called PsiousToolsuite, provides animated and live environments that can be used in clinical practice. Susan showed me some of the technology’s additional capabilities: typing messages to participants that can act as replacement thoughts, changing parts of the scene to make them more stressful, and the biofeedback monitor that can track physiological responses. PsiousToolsuite provides environments for more than just the treatment of anxiety and anxiety-related disorders. The technology can be used for mindfulness and relaxation techniques too. In fact, Susan relayed that she mostly uses the equipment when teaching mindfulness and relaxation to her clients.

            I was excited to play the role of Susan’s client as she showed me how virtual reality therapy works. I wore a pair of googles that had a cell phone attached as a means to provide the screen. Susan used her laptop to control the images on the cell phone screen. She presented me with a very calming scene of a green pasture with a tree in the forefront. As we worked through this mindfulness module, I watched the tree’s leaves slowly fall to the ground. I truly felt present in the moment and calmer afterward.

            Susan said that PsiousToolsuite is updating its modules all the time and offering more to mental health professionals. Virtual reality therapy does not require a certification and can be purchased online at www.psious.com.

            As an intern therapist, I am inspired by Susan’s efforts to explore more new age therapeutic interventions and plan to do the same in my clinical practice. After all, it’s called the golden age of technology for a reason.

Hallie is a graduate intern at The Awakening Center and currently finishing her master’s degree in Clinical Mental Health Counseling at Roosevelt University. Hallie is passionate about working with clients who are in recovery. She has worked with clients in recovery from domestic violence, substance dependency, and eating disorders.

Meditation Monday: Lessons from a Busted AC

By Nancy Hall, MA, NCC, LPC

In an effort to take the “manic” out of “Monday,” this weekly post explores techniques, issues, latest research, and other thoughts on meditation. Nancy facilitates two weekly meditation groups at The Awakening Center. For more information, contact her at 773.929.6262, extension 17 or nancyhalltac@gmail.com

The air conditioning at The Awakening Center has not been working for nearly two weeks. And when I say not working, I mean dead, kaput, get out the bugle and play “Taps.” And it’s been hot here in Chicago. Needless to say, my reaction to this hasn’t been the most gracious.

I actually like summer. But I do not like to be hot indoors. There is something about it that makes me feel sort of cornered. It’s hard to describe. I get antsy and distracted. I fantasize about driving around with the AC on max. I look for a reason to go to a grocery store so I can loiter in the frozen foods section. Being outside in hot weather is different from being inside. It just is.

I know—first-world problem. I have lived without AC and survived it just fine. But it took a recent group and time with my clients to help me gain some perspective and get my sweaty head out of my own…well, you know.

During the most recent meditation group, the window was open and fans were on high. Birds sang as I led the group through a progressive relaxation. As we processed the meditation, one participant noted how once her eyes were closed, she felt like a kid again. The gentle whirring of the fans and the street sounds took her back to summertime from her childhood. Days spent playing and then napping when the heat became overwhelming. She remembered lying on the couch, pulling her hair up off her neck, hoping for a little relief.

These were not days without stress or worry. But she was able to connect to moments of presence. When time seemed to stand still as the sweat rolled down her temple. To a time when acceptance was the only option when it came to summer heat.

I realized then that fighting the heat just made me feel more uncomfortable. The more I worried about my melting makeup, my sagging humidity-laden hair, or whether I put on enough deodorant, the more disconnected I became. Yes, it’s been hot and stuffy and sticky and stinky—all of that. But so what. It’s also been vibrant and alive—which is wonderful.

Oh, and a new AC is on its way thank goodness!

Enjoy your practice.

Meditation Monday: Accepting the Unexpected

By Nancy Hall, MA, NCC, LPC

In an effort to take the “manic” out of “Monday,” this weekly post explores techniques, issues, latest research, and other thoughts on meditation. Nancy facilitates two weekly meditation groups at The Awakening Center. For more information, contact her at 773.929.6262, extension 17 or nancyhalltac@gmail.com

We all know the stereotype of a meditation practice—sitting with pretzel legs, eyes closed, palms on knees with middle finger touching the thumb. And that is a perfectly fine way to meditate. But for those who don’t think they can sit too long in that position, there are plenty of other options. Take, for instance, a tea meditation.

A meditation focusing on tea can take many forms. The idea is to mindfully attend to each step along the way—boiling the water, listening to the sound the water makes as you pour it into the cup, feeling the warmth, watching the tea steep, inhaling the aroma, savoring the taste. Each step stimulates a different sense.

And you can have some fun with the tea options. In a recent meditation group at The Awakening Center, we sat and mindfully watched Peach Momotaro blossoming tea as it unfurled in hot water. Well, sort of.

As the group leader, I wanted the experience of watching the tea bloom to be awe-inspiring. I imagined the participants being moved by the display. Needless to say, my anxiety was triggered when the tea didn’t cooperate. The tea bundles floated for a while … kind of looking like dead fish. It took all my will power to not start poking at them or jostling the vessel.

Eventually, they began to painfully slowly open up. And they were pretty. Just not spectacular.

 And that was OK. The joy of the meditation was finding our patience and acceptance. The purpose was to provide a focal point and sensory experience for the participants—not to impress them with my miraculous tea display. The light fragrance was wonderful and the peach flavor was subtle but enjoyable.

Once I let go of my own expectations, I was able to admire the blossoms as they were. Experiences like a tea meditation help us let go and accept the beauty in how things are—not as we wish they would be.

Enjoy your practice.

Meditation Monday: Your Authentic Self

By Nancy Hall, MA, NCC, LPC

In an effort to take the “manic” out of “Monday,” this weekly post explores techniques, issues, latest research, and other thoughts on meditation. Nancy facilitates a weekly meditation group at The Awakening Center. For more information, contact her at 773.929.6262, extension 17 or nancyhalltac@gmail.com

In helping clients find their core, inner wisdom, we often start by taking an inventory of their values. What matters to them? How do they define “right” and “wrong”? In listening for the answers, some discover their values do not align with their parents’ or upbringing. This can be disconcerting but at the same time freeing.

Meditation allows you to reflect upon whether what you’ve been told you think, feel, or believe actually meshes with your true self. By quieting the chatter in your mind, you can begin to connect more fully with what you know to be true about yourself.

Many who struggle with eating disorders grew up in or currently live in invalidating environments. If you feel that there is something deeply wrong with you, then to fit in—or remain part of the pack—you might try to change yourself. Or, to cope with the shame, you might seek numbing or distracting behaviors.

The road out of that suffering, is to learn to validate yourself. And to validate yourself, you have to know yourself. And to know yourself, you have to listen to what your inner wisdom tells you about how you think or feel or what you believe.

A helpful visualization is to imagine you’re standing in an open room and that all of the masks you wear or defenses you carry are stripped away one by one. Who is left standing? What does that person value? What is that person like?

You might begin by being an outside observer of yourself. With compassion and curiosity, see if you can notice what motivates you? What inspires you? Then, invite yourself to step into this person—what does it feel like to be present without the masks? What does it feel like to embody your values?

You might not feel safe taking this embodiment out into the real world, but using meditation to get to know your true inner self will move your journey forward.

Enjoy your practice.

Meditation Monday: A Story Left

 By Nancy Hall, MA, NCC, LPC

In an effort to take the “manic” out of “Monday,” this weekly post explores techniques, issues, latest research, and other thoughts on meditation. Nancy facilitates a weekly meditation group at The Awakening Center. For more information, contact her at 773.929.6262, extension 17 or nancyhalltac@gmail.com

In the Tuesday night meditation group, I like ending the practice with a poem. I feel like this gives the right brain a little bit extra to chew on even when the meditation is over. In the most recent group, I shared the poem “Deciphering the Alphabet” by Francine Sterle. Descriptions of animal tracks, weather, and terrain remind us that our lives are always changing. This is the good news and the bad news. Whatever is happening now—joy, suffering, pain, happiness—only exists in the present and will eventually become something different. Perhaps the joy will become deeper. Or hopefully the pain will subside. But the sweet may turn bitter.

This is the double-edged sword that can both encourage and undermine hope. We do have a say in this process though. We are not simply passively waiting to see what shape our experience will take. Our suffering can either deepen or be relieved because of our choices.

About halfway in the poem is this stanza that I was particularly struck by: 

Everything that moves leaves a story. No story
            can exist by itself.

 Upon the first reading, I misread the first sentence as “Everything that moves has a story.” But notice Sterle uses the word leaves.

This critical stanza places the impermanence of nature within a context—we are not alone. Everything that moves—which is, well, everything—leaves traces or remnants. Our actions affect others—thus the importance of the word leaves.

Our experience of meditation parallels this poem. It differs each time we close our eyes and begin deeply breathing; and the practice may change from moment to moment. But with it, we also create and then leave a story.

As you move through our life, what story do you wish to leave?

Enjoy your practice.

Meditation Monday: Listening

By Nancy Hall, MA, NCC, LPC

In an effort to take the “manic” out of “Monday,” this weekly post explores techniques, issues, latest research, and other thoughts on meditation. Nancy facilitates a weekly meditation group at The Awakening Center. For more information, contact her at 773.929.6262, extension 17 or nancyhalltac@gmail.com.

The human brain is a wonder. With it, we can do algebra, learn to drive, and figure out how to make cauliflower palatable. But so much of our energy is taken up by the thinking part of the brain. Rumination. Worry. Obsession. Thinking becomes a dream-like state. A trance.

This trance can become a barrier that isolates. Our ability to take in data becomes impeded. Our bodies from the neck down seem separate from our minds.

Meditation can help us awaken from that trance. By breathing and intentionally connecting to the sensations in the body, we begin to gather new information. Your thinking part may tell you that going on that second date is a good idea, but in the meantime, your stomach is in knots.

Psychologist and meditation leader Tara Brach teaches that the first step in opening up the experience is to listen. Listen not only with the ears but with the whole body. Allow yourself to receive the information that is churning through your body from the inside out. 

• Listen to sensations: Is there twisting, tightening, loosening, fluttering, and so forth?
• Listen to emotions: Happy, sad, afraid, angry? How are these emotions expressed in the body?
• Listen to the sounds actually present: What sounds are in the room? Outside the room? Notice the space between sounds. Receive sounds that are actually present instead of listening to the chatter in your head. 

We have so much information available to us if we just listen fully. This is not easy, I know. Thinking and ruminating can be a defense mechanism for some. Trauma or intense emotions can make listening to the body feel unsafe. It’s OK to go at your own pace—start small by checking in with one neutral part of your body. Feel your feet against the floor. Listen to the sounds outside for 60 seconds.

Take these steps with gratitude.

Enjoy your practice.

Meditation Monday: Connecting to and Accepting Suffering

By Nancy Hall, MA, NCC, LPC 

In an effort to take the “manic” out of “Monday,” this weekly post explores techniques, issues, latest research, and other thoughts on meditation. Nancy facilitates a weekly meditation group at The Awakening Center. For more information, contact her at 773.929.6262, extension 17 or nancyhalltac@gmail.com

OK—I can hear the reaction. “I thought meditation is supposed to make me feel better! I’m trying to make this pain go away and now you’re saying I have to feel it?!” Yep. I am.

      The first noble truth of Buddhism is suffering exists. Ageing, illness, natural disasters are all part of this world that cause deep pain. But our suffering becomes greater when we resist accepting the pain—when we fail to acknowledge it or we engage one of our tools of distraction to numb or escape from it.

     Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBTS) offers four responses¹ to any problem that arises:

1.  Solve the problem by changing or leaving the situation
2. Change the emotional reaction to the situation
3.  Radically accept the situation and your reaction just as it is
4. Stay miserable—or make things worse

   The same responses can be applied to suffering. But before we can respond, we need to acknowledge that we have pain. We have to sit with our wounds—being fully present with them. We have to really examine how the wounds have affected our lives and how our neglect of them has created more suffering for ourselves or others.

      Meditation practice can help us be a witness to our own suffering. Given the emotions that might arise during this process, I recommend practicing with a group or therapist. But if you want to start on your own, select a challenging truth in your life that is creating moderate suffering.

• Bring to mind a situation or challenge that is causing you pain
• Breathe deeply and connect to where your body is holding on to that suffering
• What does it feel like? What is the experience for you?
• Observe and describe without judgment. Just the facts—“I notice my breathing becomes shallow” or “I feel a knot in my stomach.”
• Notice any urges to engage in distracting behaviors. Again, with compassion. If your mind wanders away from the suffering, that is not a sign of weakness. Reconnect to your breath and return to the image with gentleness and kindness
• As you observe the wound, offer yourself kind words, as if you were a friend sitting next to yourself: “I see you’re really hurt,” “I’m so sorry this is so hard,” “There is a lot of pain there.”
• Offer yourself compassion through touch. Place your hand on your heart, gently rub your arm—whatever feels right. These small gestures trigger the release of oxytocin in the brain, which creates comfort.
• Continue breathing and notice the waves of emotions. Notice how they rise and fall.

      If connecting to any level of pain or suffering becomes overwhelming, it’s OK to back away. Trust yourself. You don’t have to dive head first into the deepest depths of despair. It’s perfectly fine to touch the pain and then back away. This builds mastery and tolerance.

      Some resist connecting to pain because they feel underserving. “Others have it much worse,” or “There are people starving in the world. Who cares about my petty problems?” There is not a finite amount of suffering that is doled out according to your life circumstances. Acknowledging the pain of your own experience does not minimize or take away the suffering of a Syrian refugee. On the contrary. Connecting to our own suffering allows us to feel deeper empathy for others.

      I know this isn’t an easy task, so take it slow. Suffering is inextricably linked to being human. Acknowledging your suffering and then responding to it with kindness creates the space for joy and love to enter. So take some breaths and listen to your heart.

 Nancy Hall, MA, NCC, LPC is a staff therapist and the intake coordinator at The Awakening Center. In addition to seeing clients for individual therapy, she leads the weekly meditation group and DBT group. Check and subscribe out her blog “All Shapes and Sizes,” which appears on Chicago Tribune’s media partner ChicagoNow.com.

Notes

1. Linehan, Marsha. DBT Skills Training Manual, 2nd Edition. New York: Guilford Press, 2015.

Meditation Monday: Listening

By Nancy Hall, MA, NCC, LPC

In an effort to take the “manic” out of “Monday,” this weekly post explores techniques, issues, latest research, and other thoughts on meditation. Nancy facilitates a weekly meditation group at The Awakening Center. For more information, contact her at 773.929.6262, extension 17 or nancyhalltac@gmail.com

I’m often in awe of our problem-solving abilities. There seems to be no challenge or obstacle that we as people cannot overcome. Human beings can be tireless and able to reach amazing heights.

Doing is very important, but we need to remember to keep it in balance. In meditation, we pause to listen.

Listening is a unique activity in that it requires us to receive instead of do. To really listen to a friend or loved one, we have to stop, focus, and closely tune in. We allow the information to flow in, accepting it as it comes. A barrier to listening is often our attempts to formulate a response while the other person is still talking. Or we might be distracted by an opinion or judgment about what is being said.

We fall into this trap with ourselves as well. Meditation helps us listen to ourselves. We can listen to the surface of the body and to the interior of our experience. We listen to our breath. But we also tune in to our relationship to the information that we’re receiving.

Here’s an example. In my inner reflection and listening, I might notice that I am hungry. But I might resist this information, telling myself that I had a substantial breakfast so I shouldn’t be hungry. I might tell myself that my hunger is a sign of weakness. Or I might just tell myself that it’s time for a snack. Often our resistance or acceptance of our experience informs the emotion that is then experienced.

In the practice of meditation, we listen at different levels. We attend to the specific experience and then notice our thoughts or feelings about that experience. Think of it as the meta-commentary that runs through our minds.

By anchoring ourselves in our breath and learning to allow our experiences to simply exist, we begin to dismantle that resistance.

Nancy Hall, MA, NCC, LPC is a staff therapist and the intake coordinator at The Awakening Center. In addition to seeing clients for individual therapy, she leads the weekly meditation group and co-leads the Somatic-Experience-Informed Trauma Healing Group. Check and subscribe out her blog “All Shapes and Sizes,” which appears on Chicago Tribune’s media partner ChicagoNow.com.

Meditation Monday: Self-Regulation

By Nancy Hall, MA, NCC, LPC

In an effort to take the “manic” out of “Monday,” this weekly post explores techniques, issues, latest research, and other thoughts on meditation. Nancy facilitates a weekly meditation group at The Awakening Center. For more information, contact her at 773.929.6262, extension 17 or nancyhalltac@gmail.com

We’ve all had the experience in which we feel that our emotions and nervous system have minds of their own. We feel the poke of anxiety, which might trigger anxiety about anxiety. “I’m not going to feel anxious! Just calm down!” That generally never works. We cannot wrestle our emotions into submission.

Self-regulating takes a different mindset. And it starts with self-compassion. The body cannot calm itself nor can emotions be processed unless the experience is fully understood. Unfortunately, many feel shame and embarrassment over having strong emotions.

Everyone’s level of sensitivity is different, and those who feel emotions intensely are not weaker or “less together” than someone with a steadier baseline. But coping with life challenges can become tough for someone who is easily triggered.

Meditation can help build emotional regulation tools. I recently created a guided meditation that gently prompts participants into feeling low levels of anxiety followed by calming cues. The meditator has the experience of tolerating the anxiety in a safe environment and begins to track the natural ebb and flow of the emotions.

In this “Unpredictable Path” meditation, an image of a smooth, stable path is called to mind. At some point, the path becomes a bit more challenging—perhaps it becomes muddy or rocky. Nothing too treacherous; but not as relaxing as the start of the path. The meditator notices any physical responses to the change in the path—nervous stomach? Increase heartrate? Then the path settles back into its initial calm state. This cycle is repeated a few times, with the challenging portions getting a bit rougher each time but never too intense or really dangerous. Prompts to focus on breathing are given throughout.

Just imagining a slippery or steep path can elicit a physical response; and returning to the stable path brings the individual to a state of calm. And while this exercise taps into only a fraction of some real-life challenges, we can at least learn that becoming mindful and recognizing natural physical responses is normal. Shifting to a position of self-compassion allows us to see solutions that might have been obscured by our self-criticism and shame.

Self-regulation covers a wide range of responses—from taking oneself into a state of complete relaxation to preventing further escalation or arousal. Meditation offers a supportive forum to practice this important skill. So stop power-struggling with your anxiety and try a gentler approach!

Nancy Hall, MA, NCC, LPC is a staff therapist and the intake coordinator at The Awakening Center. In addition to seeing clients for individual therapy, she leads the weekly meditation group and co-leads the Somatic-Experience-Informed Trauma Healing Group. Check and subscribe out her blog “All Shapes and Sizes,” which appears on Chicago Tribune’s media partner ChicagoNow.com.

Meditation Monday: The Candle Gaze

By Nancy Hall, MA, NCC, LPC

In an effort to take the “manic” out of “Monday,” this weekly post explores techniques, issues, latest research, and other thoughts on meditation. Nancy facilitates a weekly meditation group at The Awakening Center. For more information, contact her at 773.929.6262, extension 17 or nancyhalltac@gmail.com

“My mind keeps wandering!” It is perfectly natural to become distracted during meditation, but often, we get discouraged and start believing we’re “doing it wrong.” Meditation can become very frustrating when the distraction is followed by self-criticism, which just leads to more distraction.

It takes time to accept our challenges with self-compassion, so in the meantime, using a technique that facilitates focusing can be helpful

The Candle Meditation technique can help build focus but also takes some practice and guidance. But the technique gives the practitioner a relief from self-critical thoughts that can be so discouraging. 

Preparation

Choose your candle carefully. A scented candle is fine as long as the fragrance is agreeable to you. Sneezing and having an itchy nose do not exactly foster relaxation and focus. You want a good-sized flame, so make sure the wick isn’t trimmed too short. Position the candle so that it is at eye level or slightly below. You want it directly in front of you so that you don’t have to turn your head.

The room should be dimly lit to avoid eyestrain; make sure the candle is placed away from breezes or drafts. You want the flame to be as still as possible. 

Meditation

Start by taking a few deep breaths to center yourself. Then allow your gaze to softly rest on the flame. Try to remain as still as possible. Allow the flame to become slightly out of focused. When your eyes become somewhat uncomfortable or begin to water a bit, close your eyes and focus on the after image. Once it fades, return your gaze to the candle. 

Contemplation

As you practice, you might notice that objects in your periphery fade away and all you are aware of is the candle. This is when you can focus your energy toward something virtuous that the candle represents. The candle can allow you to shift into a type of lovingkindness meditation: 

“May light of acceptance replace darkness of fear and hatred.”
“May light of knowledge replace darkness of ignorance.”
“May light of kindness replace darkness of selfishness.”

Follow your breath and imagine you are inhaling candle light, allowing the glow to fill the dark places in your mind and body. 

Completion

When you feel ready, allow your focus to expand to the room around you. Give yourself a few minutes to sit quietly before returning to your activities.

Experiment with this meditation, finding what works for you. See if you notice a difference when you practice other meditation techniques. Introduce music or calming sounds—try different candles. Customize your Candle Meditation and enjoy the results!

Nancy Hall, MA, NCC, LPC is a staff therapist and the intake coordinator at The Awakening Center. In addition to seeing clients for individual therapy, she leads the weekly meditation group and co-leads the Somatic-Experience-Informed Trauma Healing Group. Check and subscribe out her blog “All Shapes and Sizes,” which appears on Chicago Tribune’s media partner ChicagoNow.com.

Meditation Monday: The Six Elements

By Nancy Hall, MA, NCC, LPC

In an effort to take the “manic” out of “Monday,” this weekly post explores techniques, issues, latest research, and other thoughts on meditation. Nancy facilitates a weekly meditation group at The Awakening Center. For more information, contact her at 773.929.6262, extension 17 or nancyhalltac@gmail.com

The Six Elements Meditation is a systematic practice that fosters connection to everything that composes us but is not from us. Clear as mud, right? Think of it this way, everything that makes up our bodies—solids, liquids, gases—actually comes from outside of us. Food, water, oxygen—we need these from the outside to stay alive. However, we aren’t just consumers. What we take in eventually comes out in some form or fashion.

The Six Element practice helps us get in touch with this process, which then enables the exploration of impermanence. Every element explored in this meditation is ever changing. So this practice is both grounding and dynamic.

Found in the Pali Canon—ancient scriptural text of the Theravadan Buddhist tradition—this reflection enables the practitioner to contemplate the following elements: 

1. Earth: The solids within and outside the body.
2. Water: The liquid within and outside the body.
3. Fire: The energy within and outside the body.
4. Air: The gases within and outside the body.
5. Space: That which we cannot touch but surrounds all matter.
6. Consciousness: That which allows us to contemplate the first 5 elements.

A Six Element Meditation practice typically starts with a period of relaxing breathing and perhaps time to move into a loving-kindness state. Then the practitioner works through each element.

The order is important because each one becomes less concrete or tangible.

As you contemplate each element consider: 

• How the element comes into your body and how you then return it to the outside.
• The ever-changing nature of the element.
• How you experience each element.
• That each element has its origins in the “not self.”

Allow yourself to feel grounded by this practice but also challenged to let go of the illusion of permanence—like the universe, we are always in a state of flow and always renewing. Notice how this idea makes you feel.

In the Buddhist tradition, suffering occurs when we resist accepting impermanence or when we fixate on how we wish things were, instead of accepting how they are. The Six Element Meditation challenges this resistance. What do you hold on to that hinders your growth? What do you resist acknowledging in an effort to protect yourself from pain? Perhaps this practice can help you answer these questions and more. 

Nancy Hall, MA, NCC, LPC is a staff therapist and the intake coordinator at The Awakening Center. In addition to seeing clients for individual therapy, she leads the weekly meditation group and co-leads the Somatic-Experience-Informed Trauma Healing Group.

Meditation Monday: Loving-Kindness

By Nancy Hall, MA, NCC, LPC

In an effort to take the “manic” out of “Monday,” this weekly post explores techniques, issues, latest research, and other thoughts on meditation. Nancy facilitates a weekly meditation group at The Awakening Center. For more information, contact her at 773.929.6262, extension 17 or nancyhalltac@gmail.com

Loving-kindness is a phrase that is found in a variety of faith practices. In Christianity, it refers to mercy and love; in Buddhism, loving-kindness is another way of describing altruistic or selfless love. The concept is used in meditation to create a state of compassion, openness, and love.

Noted meditation teacher Sharon Salzburg described loving-kindness as “a quality of friendship … a cultivation of a steady, unconditional sense of connection that touches all beings without exception, including ourselves.” In other words, a loving-kindness meditation helps us shift our mindset so that we relate to ourselves and everyone with compassion and caring.

Traditionally, a loving-kindness meditation is directed at 5 groups: 

1. Yourself: Your practice always begins with developing a loving acceptance of yourself.
2. Benefactor: Someone for whom you feel great gratitude (no conflict). This could be someone whom you’ve never met, like a public figure or religious leader.
3. Beloved friend or family member: Someone you love unconditionally even though there might be occasional conflict.
4. Neutral person: Someone for whom you have no particular feelings, such as your local coffee shop barista or your mail carrier.
5. Difficult person (enemy): Anyone who creates aversion or anger (even public figure)

 There are 3 ways to arouse feelings of loving-kindness for these folks: 

1. Visualize: See yourself or the person you’re directing the feeling toward smiling back at you and experiencing joy.
2. Reflection: Reflect on positive qualities of yourself or person you’re directing loving-kindness toward.
3. Auditory: Repeat an internalized loving phrase.

In cultivating your own practice, ask “what do I wish for myself and others?” Perhaps it’s to be: 

• Free from danger
• Happy
• Free from suffering
• Dwelling in peace
• Safe

You can incorporate loving-kindness into your day-to-day life just by changing your mindset. Approach yourself and everyone as if we are all seeking happiness and peace. We are all trying to do what we think is right.

As part of a meditation, you can direct the following phrases toward all 5 groups: 

• May I [or you] be free from inner and outer harm and danger. May I [or you] be safe and protected.
• May I [or you] be free of mental suffering or distress.
• May I [or you] be happy.
• May I [or you] be free of physical pain and suffering.
• May I [or you] be healthy and strong.
• May I [or you] be able to live in this world happily, peacefully, joyfully, and with ease.

These are just examples, but the idea is to systematically work through all groups. You might find that feelings that seem to contradict loving-kindness will emerge, such as sadness, anger, or fear. That is fine; this shows your heart is softening and pent-up feelings are beginning to be revealed. Accept these feelings without judgment.

Approach your practice with a sense of curiosity and compassion. Appreciate your efforts, and remember—kindness is contagious.

Nancy Hall, MA, NCC, LPC is a staff therapist and the intake coordinator at The Awakening Center. In addition to seeing clients for individual therapy, she leads the weekly meditation group and co-leads the Somatic-Experience-Informed Trauma Healing Group.

The Trance of Keeping It All Together

By Nancy Hall, M.A.

My son had a hard time adjusting to first grade. He’d come home tired and crabby, and the smallest provocation would trigger a full-blown meltdown. I’m talking nuclear. I had heard about other kids being very tired after a full school day, but I was not prepared for such hard-core trench warfare.

My dear friend Sue has kids older than mine, and she explained the dynamic perfectly. Imagine you start your day with an empty tray, like the ones servers carry in restaurants. Someone walks by and places a half-full glass of water on your tray. “No big deal,” you think. “I can handle just one glass.” Then another person places another glass on your tray; a third person does the same. “It’s just a few glasses. I can arrange them just so and everything is in balance.” Now imagine that throughout your whole day, people are adding to your tray. It gets fuller and fuller and harder and harder to keep steady. When you think you’ve got just about all you can handle, one more person comes by and puts a teeny-tiny Dixie cup of water on the tray and **KERPLOOSH!** Everything goes flying. Glasses. Water. The tray ends up on the ground. But it was just one teeny-tiny Dixie cup? How could it create such a calamity?

My insightful friend pointed out that this is what first grade is like. As my son went through his day, his metaphorical tray was getting loaded up. And all it took was me adding my little Dixie cup for him to buckle under all that pressure.

As we grow up, we get better at stacking things on our trays. But we can be so caught up in trying to balance and hold on to everything, that we don’t realize that we’re buckling under the pressure as well. Our arm and hand certainly send signals, but we ignore them, telling ourselves that we can handle the pressure and take on just a little bit more.

Our bodies are very good and sending messages to our brains when we’re in physical or emotional distress. Our stomachs tie up in knots; our heads pound. When we practice mindfulness, we can begin to pay attention to these important cues.

Meditation is a path to mindfulness. It allows us to take time to listen to our bodies so we can learn what we need to attend to. While meditation might seem passive, it is actually quite active. It is simultaneously a stillness and an awakening. Meditation does not have to be complicated but it requires a commitment.

So as you go through your day, make the commitment to becoming a bit more mindful. That way, you can adjust accordingly to avoid upending your tray.

Join me this Saturday, 9/27, noon-2pm, at The Awakening Center for a meditation workshop. Registration is required and the fee is $20. Contact me at nancyhalltac@gmail.com to sign up.

Also, I will be starting a weekly meditation group in October. Visit and “Like” The Awakening Center’s Facebook page or check back here for details as they come!

Walking The Path

I have recently become an “empty nester.” My daughter moved to an apartment close to her college in Chicago – close enough for easy visiting but far enough to not be at home. My feelings about this are mixed. I feel loss and sadness that she is not in my everyday life, while at the same time excitement and anticipation of the freedom that being an empty nester implies. What will I do with my extra time? What is important to me? My first answer is “Finish The Book” – how long have I been working on this now? I’m not sure what comes after that.

Life gives us many opportunities for growth and change. With those opportunities comes finding our answers. Luna Sung, a master’s level practicum student from Northwestern University has written an article on one way to find our answers, “Walking the Path”. I hope it inspires you to seek out a quiet meditative way to find the answers to the questions in your life.

Namasté,
Amy Grabowski

Walking the Path

Have you ever walked through a labyrinth? I wasn’t quite sure myself what it was about until a month ago, when I had the opportunity to attend a training at a wellness center. In addition to the more “typical” and expected offerings (i.e., complementary therapy and meditation rooms, spa facilities, manmade waterfalls, bamboo gardens, gluten-free cookies), there was also a large outdoor labyrinth for guests to use during their stay. Sitting on a bench before it, I noted how visually soothing it was – curved paths of neutral-hued stones arranged in a harmonious circular shape. The sun was going down on a long, hot day and the trees were beginning to darken against the sky; all was quiet but for the evening hum of cicadas.

Though initially skeptical (a bit New Age-y for me?), I nevertheless felt drawn to this ancient symbol and meditation tool. It looked mysterious and powerful, somehow, as if it might hold a secret or an answer. I had been struggling with a personal issue that seemed to have no resolution no matter how many times I turned it over in my mind. So it was with a curious but (admittedly) facetious attitude that I began this walk. What did I have to lose? Perhaps the ground would open up and this magical labyrinth would provide me with some much-needed guidance.

A labyrinth isn’t complicated in design – at least, this one wasn’t. There was one entrance, one exit, and the only task was to walk the path. I purposely did not look around me or try to guess where the path was leading; I focused on my breath and tried to stay as present and aware as possible. Normally a fast walker, I deliberately took slow, careful steps. I noticed the thoughts that almost immediately came up – and there were many – “what ifs,” “shoulds,” and feelings of doubt, guilt, fear, self-judgment, and confusion as I wondered for the 400th time what I should do.

But as I continued placing one foot in front of the other, I gradually began to notice the pleasure of silence (well, except for those cicadas) and solitude. I actually enjoyed moving slowly and concentrating on nothing but taking steps. I looked down and saw how pretty the rocks were in their infinite variety – not neutral at all, but some gray, pink, orange, burnt umber, ivory, white, yellow, and all shapes and sizes. I looked around and appreciated the chance to see and breathe in the magnificent woods. And while a labyrinth is perhaps an obvious metaphor for life’s journey, I was surprised by how suddenly it struck me as such. I started reflecting more deeply upon the last few years – my educational journey, which brought me to The Awakening Center, and my journey toward personal growth – to a greater understanding of heart and mind. It sounds trite on paper, doesn’t it? But the act of walking the path and focusing on the present moment more fully showed me that I had nowhere to go, nowhere to be, but exactly where I was. I suppose I could have cheated and stepped over those boundaries of stones, but even then, would I have found the exit so easily? (Not with my sense of direction, I’m afraid.)

During my week of training at the wellness center, I stayed at a small inn that provided shuttle service around the area. I became friendly with the driver, who casually said something I found very wise: “You’ve gotta get lost before you can find what you’re looking for.” And it seemed that the meandering path of the labyrinth was a pretty evocative metaphor for the desires, conflicts, and longing for answers that we all experience at some point. Life is not linear, after all; I cannot foresee the future, and I can only plan so much. We’re familiar with that John Lennon lyric: Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans. And yet the path does lead to a definite place. As my thoughts became less gripped by anxiety and fear, I noticed that the rocks on the ground suddenly seemed to be larger, more colorful. The cicadas were growing louder. Was it always so, and I just hadn’t noticed? And then suddenly, without any warning at all, I had come to the center of the labyrinth. At the center was a large stone, upon which other “travelers” had placed smaller stones, almost like markers, or perhaps they were wishes. I placed my own stone on top. And then there was nothing more to do but slowly find my way back out.

Luna Sung

Luna leads the GO! Generating Opportunities for Successful Employment group on Tuesday afternoons at The Awakening Center. This group is for those who are job hunting and who want a supportive group setting to stay motivated. Call Luna at (773) 929-6262 x12 for more info.