Monday, July 26, 2010

True Friendship

Here in Chicago, with our bone chilling winters, we cherish our warm Summer weather as much as possible. Summer is a great time to get together with friends - going to the beach, listening to music at an outdoor concert, playing in a park.
But Life is not always rosy, and friends can be the lifeline we cling to when "Life gives us lemons....." The following blog article "True Friendship" is written by Dr Gulin Guneri. The picture is of Gulin with her good friend Victoria on Gulin's first 4th of July as an American Citizen! Congratulations, Gulin!
True Friendship

A true friend has your back. They accept the real you with all your quirkiness and insecurities. When you are hard on yourself because you thought you made the “worst mistake in your life” they are right there beside you. They are either a phone call or a cab drive away. After a heart to heart conversation, a true friend reminds you to be kind to yourself. They help you to put things in perspective – your “mistakes” are only part of the learning process that allows you to become a better person. They help you to forgive yourself for not being perfect.

A true friend does not allow you to dwell on the past and replay the scenarios over and over again in your head with “I could have done this!” or “I shouldn’t have said that!” A true friend reminds you that the past is in the past and has no power over you in the now! They help you to focus on the present time so that you can take charge of your life again.

A true friend reminds you that you are not the victim, but you are the conductor who orchestrates your life events. They facilitate the process of finding your inner wisdom as they listen to you calmly, non-judgmentally and with loving care. Because of their existence in your life, you strive to become a better person. A true friend reminds you that the path to happiness and tranquility starts with becoming forgiving, loving, gentle and kind to yourself. And you come to that realization that as you forgive yourself, it becomes easier to forgive others.

If you are having a bad day, pick up the phone and call your true friend. Nobody is a mind reader. If you don’t reach out, your true friend will not know that you needed them in that moment. After a heart to heart conversation on the phone or getting together for a cup of coffee, you do feel relieved as you free yourself from your “punitive self” – the one that judges you for what you have done in the past or agonizes you for “all the bad things” that “can happen” in the future. Do not hesitate to pick up the phone and reach out to your true friend. They will never think that you are a “burden” to them.

In the end, they are your true friend because you reciprocate the loving kindness and respect and care for them. Your true friend is in your life because they also learn from you as you also help them to be in touch with their inner wisdom. They are your true friend because they already know that you got their back!

Gulin Guneri, PsyD
(773) 929-6262 x18

1 comment:

  1. Yes, it's so true. I just took an Instense Sati class today and we chanted all about acceptance. I wasn't thrilled when I started the class, but by the end I was happy that I did it. Being mindful of others is part of being a good friend, accepting and believing in yourself adds to the bond. oxoxPeace&Love