Give Gratitude and Gain Happiness.

November - a month of seasonal change when the leaves turn their brilliant reds and oranges, the colder winds pick up, and the sun-filled days begin to shrink. It also ushers in Thanksgiving, a time when many people pause and step away from their busy lives to spend time with friends and family. Thanksgiving is a wonderful time to experience and express gratitude.

As we know, the tradition of Thanksgiving began after the pilgrims spent their first year in America and experienced great hardship. Their first fall harvest, however, was very successful yielding plenty of corn, fruit, and vegetables. In addition they had salt-cured fish and smoked meats, enough to last them through the winter. They celebrated this with their Native American neighbors on a day proclaimed Thanksgiving by their governor. This became an annual custom, and in 1863 President Lincoln appointed a national day of Thanksgiving.

Thanksgiving, then, started as a celebration of gratitude. The pilgrims were clearly grateful for the abundance they found in their crops, for finding peace with the Native Americans, and for successfully beginning to build a life on a new continent. As Thanksgiving approaches this year, I am reminded to identify what I am grateful for. I give gratitude for reconnecting with an old friend, for the chance to spend time with my family, and for the beauty the changing of the seasons brings. What are you grateful for?

From a selfless space, the expression of gratitude bestows many benefits. If you are ever feeling angry or jealous, or perhaps you are feeling a bit insecure or fearful of a situation, take a moment to find something in this experience to be grateful for. This can be difficult. Imagine that a friend has inadvertently said something that was hurtful to you, and you start to feel anger rising up within. Go ahead and feel this for a moment. Your body may tense up, perhaps your chest tightens, and you may feel a big knot in your stomach. Now think of some qualities that you love about this friend you are imagining has hurt you – perhaps you love their humor, their compassion, or their wit. Quietly express gratitude for these qualities in your friend. Feel this sense of gratitude for a moment. What happens to your body? Do you relax a bit? Does any tension start to fall away? Do you feel a greater sense of calm? If so, it is for good reason. Gratitude helps dissolve negative feelings, and helps to break down any barriers to Love. It also helps to evoke happiness.

Think of the pilgrims who experienced such hardship during their first year in America. They didn’t know if they were going to survive or not. They weren’t sure of much, let alone if their crops for sustenance would be harvested fully. There was much to be fearful of. They persevered, and along the way they must have had such hope in order to keep moving and growing in this unknown. They must have had little moments of gratitude along the way to spark feelings of calm, love and hope to push them forward.

Perhaps this Thanksgiving, when coming together with loved ones, you can express gratitude and notice its power. Notice if any negativity dissipates, and if you experience a deeper sense of calm. Notice if this deeper sense of calm offers you more connection with others. See if this sense of calm, openness, and connection brings you a feeling of peace and happiness. Then you can take this practice of “thanks-giving” with you, and continue to give gratitude and gain happiness.

By Erin S.

Erin Stitzel is an interning therapist at The Awakening Center. She is a Masters student at Northeastern Illinois University and will graduate and gain licensure in August of 2012. She specializes in eating disorders, depression, anxiety, trauma, and grief. She runs the Saturday Eating Disorder Recovery Drop In Support Group at TAC on Saturday mornings from 10-11:30am. For more information please call 773.929.6262 (ext.12).

The Patience of Trees

Today, while I am writing this, it is a warm, sunny and beautiful spring day! (Although the office start of spring is not until next week.) I saw the first crocus blooming in my yard! The birds are making their way back north! I've noticed the skunks have become active at night while I walk my dog. A hint of green is being to show in my lawn.

While January 1st begins the New Year, I usually don't get around to thinking about new beginnings until it's sunny and warm. Each spring I notice a Part of me feels antsy to start something new and this Part gets impatient. It wants to abandon projects that are still unfinished. It wants to rush headlong into something else.

The other day while meditating, I noticed that high above, the clouds were racing by, even though it was a windless day down here on earth's surface. As I watched the clouds they reminded me of my own antsy feelings - the clouds hurried by seemingly without thought or goal - abandoning where ever they had been and rushing to get somewhere else. I noticed what it felt like when a Part of me hurried without thought or goal - not a pleasant feeling, but very familiar to me.

Then I shifted my focus and observed the two maple trees out my office window. The trees were bare of leaves and motionless. They seemed to be waiting, patiently. They knew there time to bud and bloom would come, but were not in a hurry to do so. The trees seemed calm, and I noticed the Antsy Part of me calmed also as I observed the trees' patience - not a familiar feeling, but very pleasant to me.

The rest of the day I would purposely glance out the window and breathe in the patience of the trees. Deep inside, in a place of peace within, I knew there was a time for everything and I did not need to hurry without thought to get where I was going. I could finish what I had started. I could wait for the time when something new would present itself to me.

I encourage you to emulate the patience of the trees. There are some things we need to wait for - and waiting calmly knwoing that it will come in it's own time can help our Parts feel calm too.

Namaste,

Amy

Amy Grabowski, MA, LCPC will be hosting a workshop "Freedom from Anxiety" on Sunday May 1st. For more information contact Amy at (773) 929-6262 x11 or awakeningcenter@aol.com

Go With The Flow

Did any of you attend Lollapalooza last weekend? My kids went and described it as "So so so awesome!" But then again, on Sunday morning it was pouring and they had to decide whether to stick it out or leave. Sometimes Life doesn't cooperate and gives you a truck load of lemons (and one can only drink so much lemonade!) So what do we do? We have to learn to "Go with the Flow." Claire Jolly, a summer intern at The Awakening Center, wrote a blog article on that subject. Maybe you'll identify with how she came to terms when Life doesn't cooperate - although a semester in France is a nice truckload of lemons!

Namasté

Amy Grabowski

Go With the Flow

I recently looked at my calendar and couldn’t believe it is August. I will be studying in Strasbourg, France for the upcoming fall semester and the anticipation of leaving stirs up many conflicting emotions. I am excited to embark on this adventure with several of my closest friends but also anxious at the thought of living in a foreign country for four months. In an attempt to ease my worries I began journaling things to pack, possible trips to take while in Europe, and my goals for the upcoming semester. I noticed that my expectations for the trip were quite high considering I haven’t even boarded the plane yet!

I closed my eyes, took a deep breath, and realized that when I really got down to it, my number one goal for this experience is to be happy. I am not going to be able to anticipate every possible problem or sticky situation. I may forget to pack something, get lost while traveling, or get homesick but, at the end of the day being flexible and going with the flow will be the best way to achieve happiness abroad.

This approach is not only applicable when traveling but in all aspects of life. Our society often puts a lot of emphasis on being in control. While making smart decisions and planning ahead can be useful tools, things don’t always go according to plan. Sometimes there is an unexpected extra guest at your dinner party or major construction on your way to work. We are often faced with situations we cannot control but how we react to these situations is within our control.

So, the question is, what do you do when things don’t go according to plan? I find it is often helpful to first take several deep breaths; this relaxes the body and the mind and allows you to think more clearly. Then, I try to focus on the facts. If I forgot to pack something, can I find it in France? If there’s construction on the way to work, can I take an alternate route? If I’m homesick, will the feelings pass? The answer to all of these questions is yes. Even when things don’t go the way you thought they would there is always a choice to freak out or be flexible. I hope that the next time you or I are faced with a change of plans we choose to take a deep breath and go with the flow and, who knows, the outcome may be better that we expected.

Peacefully,
Claire Jolly

Claire is a Bachelor's level summer intern at The Awakening Center. She co-leads the Tuesday night ANAD support group.