Meditation Monday: Replacing Illusions with Values

By Nancy Hall, MA, NCC, LPC

In an effort to take the “manic” out of “Monday,” this weekly post explores techniques, issues, latest research, and other thoughts on meditation. Nancy facilitates a weekly meditation group at The Awakening Center. For more information, contact her at 773.929.6262, extension 17 or nancyhalltac@gmail.com

When we examine our coping behaviors, how many are truly reliable? Or even actually helpful for that matter? We often take refuge in behaviors or habits that we believe give us control or comfort. But when we can step back and connect to our own clarity, we realize that we’re believing in an illusion.

Instead of giving true comfort or control, many behaviors leave behind shame and regret; self-compassion becomes difficult. The need for comfort and soothing remains present and we turn to our old habits. Then more shame, and the cycle continues

But the short-term rewards of unhealthy coping behaviors seem so great; the desire to numb, distract, disconnect, soothe. The needs at the core of these urges are never quite satisfied. Instead, cravings remain, triggering behaviors, triggering more cravings, and so on.

The urges and cravings take up space in thoughts and feelings. As you begin to connect to your deep wise self, what can you place at the center of your life? What gives you true comfort, soothing, peace?

Take a moment and connect to a behavior or belief that has caused you suffering yet it still takes up a prominent position within you. Perhaps it’s not at the center, but it might be a behavior or belief that seems hard to live without

How have you relied on this behavior? Whether it’s an addiction or compulsion, have you clung to it? What are the consequences?

Check in with your body to notice if any tension or stress has crept back in. Re-engage with your breathing—let it anchor you.

Now, take a moment to ask yourself, what matters to you? What inspires you?

Where are you able to experience stillness…compassion…curiosity…peace?

As you experience the calmness of this moment, ask yourself, what can you truly put your trust in? God as you understand? Nature? Goodness of people? Yourself? A combination?

Whatever that looks like to you, allow yourself to connect to that trust. Where can you turn when you suffer? Where do you go to find your values?

Again, there is no right answer. And the image might not be clear—just let the possibility exist. If you are not sure where you can turn to find values or trust, see what it feels like to turn somewhere…even if you don’t have a clear idea of where that is.

This We Have Now

This we have now
is not imagination

This is not
grief or joy

Not a judging state,
or an elation
or sadness

Those come and go.
This is the presence that doesn’t.
--Rumi