Asking for Help

Asking for Help

Cara Chill

  I have recently taken notice in my life that asking for help seems to have a negative connotation.  Ever since I can remember, if I did not understand something, I would ask for assistance.  However, in adulthood, I am noticing a lot of individuals who see this as a sign of weakness or incompetence.  When did we start to say that it is not acceptable to ask for help? Many of us would admit to going above and beyond when it comes to helping our friends and family but when it is us who needs help, we have a tendency to refuse it.  Understandably, it is not the most comfortable experience to admit that you may be struggling.  However, if you do not seek help, how are you supposed to receive it? I have been ruminating over this topic for a while now and simply cannot grasp it.  I have finally come to the conclusion that you have to accept that you cannot do everything yourself 100% of the time and there is nothing wrong with that! Even the best and the brightest have had trouble at one point or another.  There are many people throughout history who have struggled and ended up succeeding in the end.  Bill Gates dropped out of Harvard, Thomas Edison had 1,000 unsuccessful attempts before creating the first light bulb, and Oprah Winfrey was fired when she was once a television reporter.  What I am trying to demonstrate is, everyone has flops in life but it is up to you to turn that flop into something useful.  I try to make every negative experience into something I can learn from.  Learning is a process that we go through our entire lives and along the way, we may ask for help.  Asking for help should not be a negative reflection of someone’s intelligence or ability.  It should demonstrate their strength and courage for seeking the opportunity to learn and better themselves. Teaching, learning, and helping others, is a part of life, and appreciating those times in life where we can learn something new or teach something to someone makes life a bit more exciting.  I will leave you all with a quote that may be a tad bit cliché but fitting for my thoughts. “Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will eat for the rest of his life.” Chinese Proverb

Not Being Perfect is Perfectly OKAY!

Not Being Perfect is Perfectly OKAY!

 Deandra Christianson

I have recently been thinking about how important it is to not only acknowledge and appreciate our strengths, but also acknowledge our weaknesses. By doing this, we give ourselves options. Instead of being critical of ourselves for having weakness, we can make changes or just “own” it. This concept can be extraordinarily frightening, but we just cannot be perfect. We are human. We make mistakes. We have weaknesses. AND IT IS OKAY! That, to me, is a HUGE relief!

For example, I am not good at sports. I am very uncoordinated, and if a ball is flying at my face, I will run the other way. I love being active, but I have found other ways such as dance, running, and yoga to move my body. This is a weakness I “own.” At this point in my life, it is not a priority for me to be good at sports. Maybe in another time, this will be something I will work on. This is where it is very important to know my strengths. I can appreciate that there are other things I do well.

The other option is to work on a weakness. For example, I tend to run late or arrive somewhere with no time to spare. This is a weakness I am aware of, and I think it is important to work on it. I have been making improvements in this area. For me, this was something that was impacting my life and needed to be addressed.

Having these options can be freeing. These examples may seem arbitrary, but I believe this can be applied to many areas. I think the root of this is feeling so grounded in one’s strengths that other things are not as important. It also incorporates the idea of being compassionate toward ourselves instead of critical.

You can give so much to the world through your strengths. Let them shine, and don’t worry about perfection.

Listen!

As a graduate student I have the tendency to run myself ragged.  There seems to be this little voice in the back of my head saying “you don’t have time to sit around!”  I come home from school or work and feel that I have to do more, clean my apartment or finish a paper.  This voice criticizes me for taking a break to watch TV or take a nap, telling me “you need to be more productive!”  Usually I can keep this up for a couple of months until the end of the semester when my body finally surrenders and I get sick.  I think this is my body’s way of forcing me to slow down. 

Lately however, I have been starting to challenge myself in this area.  Maybe it’s the fact that graduation is so near or that I’m simply tired of my scheduled colds, but I have started to practice truly listening to my body.  When I’m tired I take a nap, when I’m hungry I take a break to eat, when my body asks me to sit on the couch and watch reruns of the Brady Bunch I do it.  I have found that the more in tune I am with my body, the more I respect what it needs, and the more I respect it’s needs, the more my body is able to give back to me.  By giving my body the breaks that it needs on a regular basis, it is able to give me the energy and concentration I need to really be present at work and school. 

For me this not only applies to giving my body physical breaks, but mental ones too.  I don’t feel like it’s really a break when I go for a walk and spend the whole time stressing out about work I need to get done.  When I get back from the walk I feel no more rejuvenated or motivated than when I left.  My mind needs just as much breaks as my body, to go on Facebook or read a good book (not in the form of a textbook).  So I challenge you to take the time to listen to your own body.  You might be surprised at how much it has to say!

By: Kaitlyn Gitter