Lots of Progress, But Still Far To Go

By Amy Grabowski, MA, LCPC

For The Awakening Center’s #awakentoaction, we are celebrating LGBTQ Pride this month! 

I was thinking back to the mid 1980s when I took a graduate school course “Abnormal Psychology.” The way the professor taught the course makes it my favorite class, to this day! As we worked our way thru all the various mental illness diagnoses, she taught us that every diagnosis was on a continuum, and we (the students in her class) were on the same continuum too. She wanted to eliminate “them” versus “us” mentality. Rather than “Those people who have Schizophrenia” we could feel empathy for our clients whose symptoms were more profound than what we ourselves experienced. 

One day, the professor stopped the class and said, “I am supposed to teach you that homosexuality is a mental illness, but I refuse to do so!” She gave us an assignment. For the following week, we were supposed to pretend that we were gay and we had to hide this from everyone we knew. Some of us who were married, and since same sex marriage was not legal way back in 1984, we had to pretend that we were not allowed to marry our current partners. We were not allowed to hold our partner’s hand in public for fear of getting harassed or arrested. We were to remove pictures of our partners from our workplace, for fear of getting fired! We had to hide who we lived with for fear that we would be evicted from apartments or would not be allowed to purchase a house with our partner. 

The next week, the class discussed what it was like to hide something fundamental about who you were deep inside. The reactions ranged from humiliation and shame, to rage and indignation. This experience has stayed with me to this day. And I was relieved that soon afterward homosexuality was removed from the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual.  

If we zoom to the current decade, many changes are in place. In many states (but not all), tt is no longer legal to discriminate against a person because of their sexual orientation in housing or employment. LGB individuals can now join the US military. It is legal for same sex couples to marry. Gay pride flags and banners wave in stores and windows throughout our city. The Gay Pride Parade just took place here in Chicago and has become a big summer event. 

However this is not enough. We need to continue to move forward with progress in our society to the point that every person, no matter their sexual orientation or gender identity, is treated with respect, worth, and dignity. Every person should be able to live their life without constant vigilance for harassment and persecution. Every religion of the world has a version of the Golden Rule: “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you”; and I would love to see every person of every religion, or of no religion at all, live by this rule.

So how can we help make this change happen?  It starts with ourselves. Those of us outside the LGBTQ community can become allies. A true ally actively combats anti-LGBT bullying and harassment while uplifting the voices of LGBT people. Allyship is more than broadly supporting LGBT people; it's an active, ongoing process of advocating for LGBT individuals (and other marginalized groups) without speaking for them or over them. (https://www.glsen.org/participate/programs/ally-week?gclid=CNW79eG90tQCFQ6taQod408Jiw )

Just as it takes courage for LGBT people to be open and honest about who they are, it also takes courage to support your LGBT friends or loved ones. We live in a society where prejudice still exists and where discrimination is still far too common. Recognizing these facts and giving your support to that person will take your relationship to a higher level and is a small step toward a better and more accepting world. (http://www.hrc.org/blog/how-to-be-an-lgbt-ally )

Here are 10 Ways to Be an Ally & a Friend (from: https://www.glaad.org/resources/ally/2)

1. Be a listener.
2. Be open-minded.
3. Be willing to talk.
4. Be inclusive and invite LGBT friends to hang out with your friends and family.
5. Don't assume that all your friends and co-workers are straight. Someone close to you could be looking for support in their coming-out process. Not making assumptions will give them the space they need.
6. Anti-LGBT comments and jokes are harmful. Let your friends, family and co-workers know that you find them offensive.
7. Confront your own prejudices and bias, even if it is uncomfortable to do so.
8. Defend your LGBT friends against discrimination.
9. Believe that all people, regardless of gender identity and sexual orientation, should be treated with dignity and respect.
10. If you see LGBT people being misrepresented in the media, contact us at www.glaad.org

It starts with me. And you! And if we tell two people, and they tell two people, and they tell two people, and so on and so on and so on…. Hopefully, we can help change the world to be a much more loving and accepting place for all!

Namastè,

Amy is proud to be a LGBTQ Ally!

                                                                                                                                                        

Seven Virtues: Jade Braden

Seven Virtues

By Jade Braden

When I was in my senior year of high school, out of all the subjects we discussed, my English teacher enjoyed talking about the medieval ages to the class with heartfelt excitement. In particular, his favorite subject was King Arthur’s knights. What made these medieval men stand out to him were the codes of honor that those knights practiced rigorously which showed signs of a true knight. Following the completion of high school, I realized that knights were not the only ones capable of gaining these virtues that were memorable enough to write stories and poems about these great men. Numerous sources, from Greek philosophers such as Aristotle and Plato, to the Catholic catechism describe these “knightly” virtues into seven specific virtues.

In the Catholic catechism, the seven virtues were categorized into two sections: the four cardinal virtues include prudence, justice, restraint (temperance) and courage (fortitude) and then the three theological virtues are faith, hope, and love (charity).  Another individual named Aurelius Prudentius later revised the list of virtues through his poem, “Psychomachia” (or “Battle/Contest of the Soul”) as the seven heavenly virtues to combat the seven deadly sins which many people such as you may have heard about through the media’s popular portrayal of these vices. These virtues became chastity, temperance, charity, diligence, patience, kindness, and humility.

In this blog entry, I am offering the audience a chance to view these virtues, their vices and the meanings associated with those virtues. As you read each virtue, consider the roles of these virtues or counteracting vices in your life and how you, close ones, or society reacted to any virtue or vice active in your life. Often, people are not aware of the vices that take hold of them but by recognizing the vices, the person receives the option to continue fulfilling vices or appeal to a contrary virtue. Ultimately, the choice is up to that individual. With that, glean what you can from the list of virtues with their respective vices and enjoy!

- Virtue: (Vice)

i.e., Alternative meaning of virtue word

Meaning of virtue

- Chastity: (Lust)

i.e., Purity, knowledge, honesty, wisdom

Incorporating chastity is to abstain from sexual contact, refraining from intoxicants. One becomes honest with oneself and others. One embraces moral wholesomeness and achieving purity of thought through education and betterment.

- Temperance: (Gluttony)

i.e., Self-control, justice, honor, abstention

There is constant mindfulness of others and one’s surroundings. One takes caution to judge between actions with regard to appropriate actions at a given time. There is proper moderation between self-interest versus public-interest, and against the rights and needs of others.

- Charity: (Greed)

i.e., Love, will, benevolence, generosity, sacrifice

Charity is not the same as simply giving money out to homeless people. Charity or Love as a congruent definition is loving kindness towards all others, self-sacrificial. The sacrificing of oneself can include a sacrifice of one’s time, services, finances, etc.

- Diligence: (Sloth)

i.e., Persistence, effort, ethics, rectitude

One has a zealous and careful nature in ones’ work and actions. One has a decisive work ethic, is steadfast in belief, fortitude, and has the capability of not giving up. One budgets ones’ time, monitoring one’s own activities to guard against laziness. One upholds ones’ convictions regardless if others are watching or not, indicating integrity.

- Patience: (Wrath)

i.e., Peace, mercy, sufferance

There is forbearance and endurance through moderation. One resolves conflicts and injustice peacefully as opposed to resorting to violence. One accepts the grace to forgive, show mercy to others. Create a sense of community and stability.

- Kindness: (Envy)

i.e., Satisfaction, loyalty, compassion, integrity

Empathy and trust without prejudice or resentment. There is unselfish love and voluntary kindness without bias or spite. One has positive outlooks and a cheerful demeanor. One inspires kindness in others.

- Humility: (Pride)

i.e., Bravery, modesty, reverence, altruism

It involves modest behavior, selflessness, and the giving of respect. Humility is not thinking less of yourself, it is thinking of yourself less. It is a spirit of self-examination. Courage of the heart is necessary to undertake tasks which are difficult, tedious or unglamorous, and to graciously accept the sacrifices involved. There is reverence for those who have the wisdom and those who selflessly teach in love. One gives credit where its’ due while not unfairly glorifying one’s one self. One becomes faithful to promises, no matter how big or small they can be. One refrains from despair and the ability to confront fear and uncertainty, or intimidation