The Patience of Trees

Today, while I am writing this, it is a warm, sunny and beautiful spring day! (Although the office start of spring is not until next week.) I saw the first crocus blooming in my yard! The birds are making their way back north! I've noticed the skunks have become active at night while I walk my dog. A hint of green is being to show in my lawn.

While January 1st begins the New Year, I usually don't get around to thinking about new beginnings until it's sunny and warm. Each spring I notice a Part of me feels antsy to start something new and this Part gets impatient. It wants to abandon projects that are still unfinished. It wants to rush headlong into something else.

The other day while meditating, I noticed that high above, the clouds were racing by, even though it was a windless day down here on earth's surface. As I watched the clouds they reminded me of my own antsy feelings - the clouds hurried by seemingly without thought or goal - abandoning where ever they had been and rushing to get somewhere else. I noticed what it felt like when a Part of me hurried without thought or goal - not a pleasant feeling, but very familiar to me.

Then I shifted my focus and observed the two maple trees out my office window. The trees were bare of leaves and motionless. They seemed to be waiting, patiently. They knew there time to bud and bloom would come, but were not in a hurry to do so. The trees seemed calm, and I noticed the Antsy Part of me calmed also as I observed the trees' patience - not a familiar feeling, but very pleasant to me.

The rest of the day I would purposely glance out the window and breathe in the patience of the trees. Deep inside, in a place of peace within, I knew there was a time for everything and I did not need to hurry without thought to get where I was going. I could finish what I had started. I could wait for the time when something new would present itself to me.

I encourage you to emulate the patience of the trees. There are some things we need to wait for - and waiting calmly knwoing that it will come in it's own time can help our Parts feel calm too.

Namaste,

Amy

Amy Grabowski, MA, LCPC will be hosting a workshop "Freedom from Anxiety" on Sunday May 1st. For more information contact Amy at (773) 929-6262 x11 or awakeningcenter@aol.com

Running from the "I Can't's"

Running from the “I Can't's”

I always thought running was not for me. While I watched both my brothers run long distances I scoffed at the idea that I would ever run more than a few feet. I had every excuse for not running as well; my knees hurt, it was boring, my body just could not do it, and the list went on which made not running much easier than actually trying it.

Being that I am the only girl in the family between two boys, I have always tried to keep up with them. If the boys did it, I wanted to as well. After years of telling myself that I could not be a runner like them, my desire to be like the boys caught up with me. I bought a pair of running shoes and embarked on a sweaty new journey. A friend who had always been a runner took me for a short run on the lake front path encouraging me to run just a little further. When I got home, red in the cheeks, out of breath and smelling quite like a runner I had never felt a high quite like this. There was a spark in my mind and all of a sudden I realized that I had been lying to myself; I could run. From that first run a little over a year and a half ago, my love affair with running has exploded.

Today I lose myself in running on a regular basis. While I now run much longer distances, the first few miles of my runs feel just like that first run. My mind is racing with my schedule, replaying the day's events, making to-do lists and more. The loudest voice over all this is the voice telling me I can't. Those excuses come back to me and I contemplate turning around and walking home during this time. There is a much smaller voice that strengthens as I continue on my way though. This voice tells me I can and shuts down all the thoughts racing through my mind until it finally squashes that voice telling me I can't. At this point I can focus on what matters: me. I can listen to my body properly and judge my capabilities accurately, making for a safe and healthy run. Best of all, I can enjoy my run.

For me running has become an activity in which I find peace of mind. Most of my day is spent rushing from class to appointments to meetings to home where my homework awaits. Being able to escape the chaos of the day can be difficult for anyone. I have found for me that the clarity from running calms me for the other challenges in life. Whether it is running, yoga, painting, reading or whatever, finding that one thing that allows you to clear your mind of the to-dos will refresh you making the to-dos in the day more manageable.

Beyond being able to find something that helps me bring my mind to peace, running has helped boost my confidence as well. By challenging all the “I can't's” I have been able to find strength and motivation to complete my first 5k and train for my first half marathon. While this upcoming challenge makes me nervous, I know I can rely on the second voice to crush the voice that tells me I can't and come to a place of clarity and peace in order to finish my run.

Katie Infusino
Katie is a Bachelor level intern from DePaul University who co-leads the Tuesday evening ANAD Support group at The Awakening Center.