I Still Don't Want to Believe it. Thank you, Robin Williams

            There is a lot of sadness and a lot to be said with Robin Williams’ death. There is a lot of sadness with any actor or public figure’s death. These are the people who achieve a certain expertise that some of us do not give them credit for. They become the canvas for us to reflect our emotions and feelings. They are the people who remind us of our humanity in a way that no others can. The emotional catharsis that actors must be able to accomplish is a feat and I can only imagine how exhausting it can be having to know, understand, and hold so many feelings for the world to see. Many people rely on, and almost cling to that expression of emotion because we find ourselves incapable of it.
            The tragic passing of Robin Williams has brought to light an issue that many of us deem necessary to talk about: open communication of mental and emotional health. Some people will not find this topic a necessary thing to discuss, even edging on the point of preferring not to associate themselves with the topic. The funny thing is that more people than we know struggle with these kinds of issues. It is only until they are open, and the stigma sets in, that mental and emotional health change one person’s perception of another. All of a sudden every action is irrational, every feeling imbalanced, and every word nonsense.
            I have been struggling with Depression since I was seven, Bulimia and Overeating Disorder since I was seventeen, and was diagnosed with Anxiety and Alcohol Dependency just recently. It wasn’t until I was hospitalized three months ago for suicidal ideations that I started being open about the struggles in my life. Oddly enough, while I found that some people were adverse to my newfound honestly, a lot of people I know struggle with similar issues or know someone else who struggles with similar issues and I have found support in them.
            While Robin Williams played many iconic roles, one in particular comes to mind. For some people it is the witty wish-granting Genie or the faithful father disguised as one Mrs. Doubtfire. Possibly you see him as a mentor and a friend who will push you to your potential like his portrayal of Sean Maguire.  You may even see him as the man who would risk life, death, and dreams for love. These are but a few of the many great roles he portrayed and we all have our favorites. Not going to lie, I thought he was amazing in Insomnia. The role I am referring to though is John Keating from Dead Poets Society.
            As Mr. Keating, Robin Williams taught audiences to love poetry, to love LOVE, and to seize the day. “Carpe Diem.” He inspired us to live extraordinary lives.  But what is an extraordinary life without understanding and sympathizing with the plights of others? Why conform to the norm of today and only show the parts of yourself that you for some reason consider more worthy? We struggle enough with the masks that people put on us. We struggle with the limitations people set and the expectations people have of us. We are in a time where we have the tools at our disposal to create a positive environment to discuss these things, yet instead we choose to hide. We choose fear of rejection or embarrassment, over love. Carpe Diem. Seize the Day. Seize one another. Seize yourself.
            The only people who know the intimate details of Robin Williams’ struggles are those closest to him.  It still breaks the hearts of millions who felt close to him because his every performance transcended the screen or the stage and brought us honesty and clarity. We can honor him with quotes and sentiments, but we can also promise to be whoever we are, however we are, and embrace others. Actors adopt a type of honesty that few people understand. Considering in a way that we are all actors, now more than ever, we should listen more carefully for the things each of us are trying to convey and encourage free expression.
            Rest in Peace, Robin Williams. You are a great man and truly an inspiration to many.

Reprinted with permission from http://murphygrace.tumblr.com/post/94517559389/i-still-dont-want-to-believe-it-thank-you-robin

EDA or OA: Which is right for you?

Eating Disorders Anonymous (EDA) or Overeaters Anonymous (OA): Which is right for you?

EDA and OA are very different programs, and it seems as though many people do not know the differences between the groups.

Deandra Christianson

Similarities:

Both programs are based on the Twelve Step and Twelve Tradition Program that originated in the Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) program. The programs are funded through the voluntary contributions of the members. Also, they seek to create a place of support for individuals with eating disorders that they may not feel alone. Though we are all unique, there are other people who are sharing similar experiences. There is no religious affiliation with either organization, and the spiritual values endorsed by the programs are to be interpreted by each individual, if they so choose.

Differences:

The biggest difference between EDA and OA are the views of recovery.

“Our primary purpose is to abstain from compulsive overeating and to carry this message of recovery to those who still suffer.” –OA

OA believes that an individual with always have an eating disorder. An individual must abstain from certain behaviors or food and is always in recovery. Compulsive eating is seen in OA as a ‘progressive illness.’ OA emphasizes an ‘action plan’ for individuals in the program. This is a plan surrounding food and behaviors to help a person abstain from his/her patterns of overeating. The group focuses on the spiritual, physical, and emotional impacts of overeating and stresses health in all three of these areas.

“Our primary purpose is to recover from our eating disorders and to carry this message of recovery to others with eating disorders.” –EDA

EDA believes that an individual with an eating disorder can recover completely. The organization does not endorse any rules or rigidity around food. It is believed in EDA that the behaviors were due to emotional distress that was expressed through food. EDA strives to help individuals learn safe and effective coping skills. The program’s goal is balance and not abstinence.

To find more information about:

Overeaters Anonymous (OA), go to www.OA.org

Eating Disorders Anonymous (EDA), go to www.eatingdisordersanonymous.org

At The Awakening Center, we have an Eating Disorders Anonymous program on Wednesday nights from 7:45pm-9:00pm. 

Eating Mindfully

Note: This is an excerpt from Amy’s upcoming book: “Imagine Being at Peace…”

I’m sure people have said to you, “Just stop when you are full.” But there is so much more to this than just forcing yourself to stop eating. It’s about learning how to eat in ways that heighten Satisfaction, which is much more important to most people than Fullness.

Let’s look at an example of what that means. Lindsay is fairly hungry, and she asks her Body what it wants and the answer comes back, “Macaroni and cheese.” Lindsay’s Food Police Part yells back, “OMG! Do you know how much fat is in that!? You can’t eat Carbs! No way can you have that. You can have broiled fish and a salad with fat free dressing.”

As Lindsay eats, her Body becomes fuller – but because she isn’t eating what would satisfy her, her Satisfaction level goes down. Her Food Police Part tells Lindsay that she cannot have any more food.

But Lindsay is not Satisfied and she begins to ‘Hunt’ – you know what I mean, looking in cabinets and the refrigerator, eating a little of this and a little of that. If she were paying attention Lindsay would notice she’s hunting for foods that have some of the satisfying qualities of macaroni and cheese.

Because Lindsay is eating more she gets fuller and eventually her Rebel Part says, “Screw it! We’ve blown it this far, we might as well have the mac and cheese!” Afterwards she is quite full (Danger!) and feeling remorse that she ate so much, she vows to stick to her diet next time.

For some of you this is the end of the story. But since Lindsay is bulimic, she purges, which sends her glucose levels plummeting. And you know what happens when our glucose levels are low. Yes, you guessed it – our friend NPY kicks in and makes her want to eat again.

What do you think would happen if Lindsay allowed herself to eat the macaroni and cheese in the first place? (Maybe with the broiled fish and a salad with a dressing she enjoys – eating a variety of foods, textures and temperatures heightens Satisfaction.) If Lindsay ate the macaroni and cheese very slowly and mindfully, savoring the flavor, texture, temperature, her Satisfaction level would go up immediately. And she would be able to stop eating.

When we do not have Satisfaction we overeat – past the point of comfort – and still want to eat more. When we are Satisfied we eat less – some people even lose weight by doing this. But of course the minute you turn Satisfaction into a weight loss diet, then the Parts who rebel against deprivation will make you eat more! How ironic!

What is Satisfaction? When you savor an enjoyable meal that ‘hits the spot,’ that’s Satisfaction! Satisfaction is eating foods that your Body wants and needs, and prepared in ways that are enjoyable for The Child on Your Tongue. We can heighten Satisfaction when we eat very slowly and mindfully. We heighten Satisfaction by eating a variety of tastes, textures, and temperatures at each meal. Satisfaction is higher when we match the food to the situation and our Body’s needs.

In a way, we can blame our culture for part of the problem. Culturally, we eat quickly and mindlessly. As young children, we learn to wolf down our lunches quickly so that another class can use the cafeteria. We eat at our desks while working; we eat in our cars while driving to an appointment; we eat while watching TV. We do not savor the texture, temperature and tastes of the food. When we do not get Satisfaction from eating, you know what happens next – we want more! We start to hunt, we eat more, we get too full and we start to yell at ourselves, we purge or restrict and start the cycle all over again.

Learning to eat slowly and mindfully may feel a bit counter-cultural to you. You may notice when eating with friends or family, how fast they eat and how little attention they give to their food. Your friends or family may even pressure you to eat more or to hurry to eat faster. Even after you practice eating this way, it may be difficult not to fall into old ways when eating with others. You will need to dig out your Toolbox and find Tools that can help such as, “Planning Ahead” and “Speaking up from Our Wise One Within.”

I recommend starting small – start with one meal a week – or if you can’t handle a whole meal, start with just one food. You can join a Mindful Eating Therapy Group or enlist the help of a trusted friend or therapist. You will have to practice this new way of eating for a while before it feels comfortable for you.

Namastè,

Amy Grabowski, MA, LCPC

Amy will be leading “Mindful Eating” a workshop on Sunday June 5th, from 12-2pm.

You've heard about Eating Mindfully: "Listen to your body for hunger, fullness and satisfaction. Eat in a way that enhances stopping when full. Balance eating for health with eating for enjoyment." You would like to experience Mindful Eating first hand - but with a 'guide' to help you. This workshop will explore myths and misinformation about food, eating and weight. Uncover triggers for mindless eating which do not honor the body. Come share an intuitive, contemplative meal in a safe supportive environment. (Each participant will bring their own food.)

For more information call (773) 929-6262 x 11 or email awakeningcenter@aol.com