Think, Before Acknowledging

By Michel Harris, RD, LDN, CDE

 One of my clients, who recently achieved her goal weight, arrived to our session looking defeated. She explained that her attempt to donate blood turned humiliating when the receptionist commented on her thin appearance and then announced to the entire room how much she weighed. A second client, who is close to her goal weight, endures hurtful comments from her co-workers on a daily basis. They cannot seem to stop reminding her of how lucky she is to “eat anything she wants and stay so thin.”

The way in which these people behaved towards my clients reminds me of a scene from the movie “Splash.” Darryl Hannah is in a department store purchasing underwear, and the saleslady, while trying to sell her something fancier, commented on her appearance, then said “My daughter-in-law, on the other hand is lucky, she’s anorexic.” For both of my clients, the remarks of others sting because having an eating disorder makes them feel anything but lucky. Just like the saleslady in “Splash,” these comments seem to equate underweight and thinness as a status everyone desires. While they wouldn't be expected to know the circumstances that my clients have faced, they have acted disrespectfully by assuming they enjoy being recognized for their appearance.

You may think that underweight and thin have the same meaning, but to clarify, underweight refers to someone who is not at his or her desired weight for health. A thin person is at a healthy weight but is often viewed as underweight by those who are dissatisfied by their own appearance.

As a dietitian, I have heard just as many stories involving humiliation of underweight and thin clients, as I have of those who are overweight or obese. However, since the media promotes underweight and thinness as the appearance everyone strives for, it is assumed that weight-related comments are welcomed by this population.

When you are about to ask your friend why she is eating yogurt or exercising because she is so thin, stop and remind yourself that she may be struggling with accepting her own body or maybe she is very confident with living a healthy lifestyle. Remember, you don’t know her life story or how she came to her current appearance.

I will close with a line from one of my favorite songs by the artist Monica: “Just one of them days a girl goes through.” While this song is about a relationship in which the girl apologizes to her boyfriend for wanting to be alone sometimes, I used to play this song in my college days when I was having a poor body image day. All of us, despite our body size, have days in which we are uncomfortable with our body. Let’s support each other and acknowledge our non-physical attributes.

Michel Harris is the staff nutritionist at The Awakening Center. She counsels clients individually and in group. Check back on the Calendar page for updates on new groups in 2015. Michel is accepting new clients, so call 773-929-6262 for more information.

Challenge Body Hatred!

In honor of Eating Disorders Awareness Week, Amy Grabowski is sharing an excerpt from her upcoming book, "Imagine Being at Peace with Food, your Body, your Self." This is from the last chapter and is one of the ten tools to Make Peace with Food and your Body. Amy will be leading a workshop, "Make Peace With Your Body" on Sunday March 6. Please see info at the end of the article.

Challenge Body Hatred!

...Think way back, why did you start your very first diet? For most of you, ‘Feeling Fat’ and being uncomfortable in your own skin was something you’ve felt since you were a kid. In the majority of cases, feeling bad about our Body was the first symptom of our Eating Disorder. And sorry to say, it is usually the last symptom to go. You know this – because even when you have managed to lose weight, you still ‘Felt Fat’.

Or maybe as a child you felt fine about your Body; but sadly someone, your father, mother, doctor or coach put you on a diet. Like I pointed out already, once the dieting started, then the rest of the Eating Disordered symptoms, including feeling bad about your Body, followed.

Part of recovery is going to be learning to not trust the negative feelings you have about your Body and relearning to feed your Body as if you did not have these negative feelings, which you also need to learn to be untrue – even though you will still have these negative feelings for a while. Huh?! Clear as mud – right? Don’t worry I’ll try to make this as understandable as I can.

In today’s society, with our size negative-0 actresses/actors with their perfectly chiseled abs and thighs that never touch, plus the availability of cosmetic surgery to chop off or suck out parts of your Body to achieve the perfectly chiseled abs and thighs that never touch, it is very hard not to have a negative Body Image. Only 3% of the population of the US naturally looks like a supermodel. Does that mean that 97% of us should spend each day hating our Body? I choose to disagree! And I encourage you to disagree as well!

Interestingly, in a research study about the effect of a mother’s Body Image on her daughter, anyone in the control group who had a positive Body Image was eliminated from the study because liking your Body was considered abnormal. In another study, subjects who preferred larger Bodies were also eliminated. So in our culture, having some degree of dissatisfaction with one’s appearance is considered normal and liking large Bodies is considered abnormal! How absurd!

If hating our Body actually worked, if it actually motivated us to stop overeating, then everyone would have an ideal Body. We have to admit to ourselves, "Hating my Body doesn't work!" It just makes all the other symptoms worse, much, much worse!...

If you would like to participate in Amy's Workshop, "Make Peace with your Body" and learn the tools to stop Body Hatred, please call her at (773) 929-6262 x11 or email awakeningcenter@aol.com