Change it Up!

Courtney Morris
Change it Up!

I have recently begun to appreciate the importance of switching things around occasionally.  This can be beneficial for our physical, mental, and emotional well beings.  While it can be great to have a routine, as this allows many of us to be productive and consistent in our work and social activities, it is often too easy for us to get stuck in a habitual rut, especially as the temperature starts to drop and we want to bundle up in the warmth of our homes.  The lack of new physical activity and mental stimulation can take a toll on us all.

The cure for this? Simple! Try something new...or perhaps call that friend or family member you rarely speak to anymore but really miss and make a date to catch up.  Or, perhaps try a new activity which makes you a little nervous; extra points for the further you venture out of your comfort zone as this is where the most opportunity for character growth is offered.  What's the worst that can happen?  If you're brave, try doing this once or twice a week for a more exciting life and see where it takes you!

Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark

Remember childhood? Do you remember camping in the dark or making forts and turning off the lights. Reading under the covers by flashlight? Did you have a secret cubby or hiding place that was safe for you? Ever notice how the pirates bury treasure, sometimes in a cave – sometimes a dark cave. As adults, we sometimes lose touch with those hidden places which have such treasures of self knowledge. We learn to bury the treasure and leave it buried.

Whether it is the fall season around the corner or just something that you’re wanting to investigate, those dark cubbies of the psyche hold treasures. Most of our daily activities are lived in unconsciousness. For me, one of the most wonderful things about having a life is about engaging in the present moment. I don’t stay in the present moment all the time. This is mostly healthy and allows us to get through the day – unless we have the job of say, the Dalai Lama. But there are times, even seasons built into our lives to allow us an opportunity to get in touch with the dark or unconscious. They hold all sorts of information. In our society, we try so hard to keep it together, to keep the dark from seeping out. But the seeping out…is pure genius, especially if it is done consciously.

When I’m working with my clients, I invite them (and myself) to listen to what the dark is trying to say. What is that message just below the surface? If you crawl under that blanket, crawl into the cubby and sit with the surroundings and flash just a little bit of a flashlight beam on the story book , what do you learn? Does it whisper to you? I often ask, what are you NOT supposed to see, know, hear, etc.? Maybe you prefer to go into meditation to let the below-the-surface information come up for you. I like to journal about it and let the resistance melt away with each written line. Some people stretch to release the unconscious messages told by the body. Others will draw or doodle to let the unconscious thoughts seep through. At the Awakening Center, we treat eating disorders and more. I often ask my clients to go below the surface of the craving, of the binge, of the restricting – to sit with those dark moments. In that space, there is a treasure trove of information.

A long time ago I read a quote from Bono of U2. He said for so long they ran away from the big rock star image. They thought it would make them into sell-outs. Finally, the popularity surrounded them and they simply had to embrace their greatest fear, the over-the-top rock star persona. And they were genius at it. And the quote went something like, “so we gave the rock star image a big smooch”.

I recently had an experience where my greatest fear became reality. That dark place showed up. I went into it like a cubby. In a way, I had no choice. Everything I’d done to keep it below the surface, all those lovingly proactive steps blew up. There is something raw and truthful about being with the dark. It allows us to be in present time. The opposite is true when we avoid the dark. For me, I found gratitude. For me, I found places in which I could bring in more self love.

SO, as the weather cools off and hibernation urges begin, consider using this time to get more in touch with those hidden messages. Don’t be afraid of the dark.

By Erin Diedling

Erin Diedling, MEd, LPC is a counselor at The Awakening Center. She can be reached at (773) 929-6262 x 19.

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Developing a Stronger Sense of Self

Where is your favorite place in your home? What is your favorite restaurant? What is your favorite activity to do outside? What about inside? Where is your preferred vacation destination? What is one of your favorite meals? What is your favorite movie? What about your least favorites of all of the aforementioned?
In order to answer these and other similar questions, you need to know yourself and be able to identify what you like and what you don’t like. How do you figure these things out? Many people, myself included, are experiential learners. You learn by doing and experiencing things first hand – visit the place, watch the show, taste the food, participate in the activity. Learning by doing can be unnerving. It’s scary to try something new. The lack of familiarity and the uncertainty of the outcome can be a strong deterrent.
When I first started stepping out of my comfort zone, I felt uneasy and extremely nervous. I over-thought these novel situations and wondered what other people thought of me when they saw me. I felt incredibly self-conscious. However, during each of these experiences I learned something about myself. Despite my discomfort, I knew I was benefiting because I was developing a stronger sense of self, and although I sometimes didn’t feel up for it, I continued to push myself beyond my comfort zone, which was slowly expanding.
Change often occurs when trying something new, and as a result, experiential learning often generates change in some way. Pushing yourself outside of your comfort zone brings the challenge of adjusting to change, which can seem daunting. Nevertheless, with repetitive practice, your comfort zone gradually expands, bolstering self-awareness, as well as a concrete sense of self.
It’s completely normal to feel uncertain and to lack self-confidence. I encourage you to build a stronger sense of self by stepping outside of your comfort zone to try new things. Luckily, the word try doesn’t mean permanent, but is defined as more of a test, to examine something such as a situation or yourself. Although I still sometimes feel nervous when trying new things, I’m not nearly as timid as before. Consequently, I’m able to confidently convey my likes and dislikes, and if I am unsure of my response, I realize that I just have some more self-exploration to do.
Katie Anson, MA, LPC

Katie is Spanish-English bilinqual and sees clients for individual therapy at The Awakening Center. She can be reached at (773) 929-6262 x 23.