Give Gratitude and Gain Happiness.

November - a month of seasonal change when the leaves turn their brilliant reds and oranges, the colder winds pick up, and the sun-filled days begin to shrink. It also ushers in Thanksgiving, a time when many people pause and step away from their busy lives to spend time with friends and family. Thanksgiving is a wonderful time to experience and express gratitude.

As we know, the tradition of Thanksgiving began after the pilgrims spent their first year in America and experienced great hardship. Their first fall harvest, however, was very successful yielding plenty of corn, fruit, and vegetables. In addition they had salt-cured fish and smoked meats, enough to last them through the winter. They celebrated this with their Native American neighbors on a day proclaimed Thanksgiving by their governor. This became an annual custom, and in 1863 President Lincoln appointed a national day of Thanksgiving.

Thanksgiving, then, started as a celebration of gratitude. The pilgrims were clearly grateful for the abundance they found in their crops, for finding peace with the Native Americans, and for successfully beginning to build a life on a new continent. As Thanksgiving approaches this year, I am reminded to identify what I am grateful for. I give gratitude for reconnecting with an old friend, for the chance to spend time with my family, and for the beauty the changing of the seasons brings. What are you grateful for?

From a selfless space, the expression of gratitude bestows many benefits. If you are ever feeling angry or jealous, or perhaps you are feeling a bit insecure or fearful of a situation, take a moment to find something in this experience to be grateful for. This can be difficult. Imagine that a friend has inadvertently said something that was hurtful to you, and you start to feel anger rising up within. Go ahead and feel this for a moment. Your body may tense up, perhaps your chest tightens, and you may feel a big knot in your stomach. Now think of some qualities that you love about this friend you are imagining has hurt you – perhaps you love their humor, their compassion, or their wit. Quietly express gratitude for these qualities in your friend. Feel this sense of gratitude for a moment. What happens to your body? Do you relax a bit? Does any tension start to fall away? Do you feel a greater sense of calm? If so, it is for good reason. Gratitude helps dissolve negative feelings, and helps to break down any barriers to Love. It also helps to evoke happiness.

Think of the pilgrims who experienced such hardship during their first year in America. They didn’t know if they were going to survive or not. They weren’t sure of much, let alone if their crops for sustenance would be harvested fully. There was much to be fearful of. They persevered, and along the way they must have had such hope in order to keep moving and growing in this unknown. They must have had little moments of gratitude along the way to spark feelings of calm, love and hope to push them forward.

Perhaps this Thanksgiving, when coming together with loved ones, you can express gratitude and notice its power. Notice if any negativity dissipates, and if you experience a deeper sense of calm. Notice if this deeper sense of calm offers you more connection with others. See if this sense of calm, openness, and connection brings you a feeling of peace and happiness. Then you can take this practice of “thanks-giving” with you, and continue to give gratitude and gain happiness.

By Erin S.

Erin Stitzel is an interning therapist at The Awakening Center. She is a Masters student at Northeastern Illinois University and will graduate and gain licensure in August of 2012. She specializes in eating disorders, depression, anxiety, trauma, and grief. She runs the Saturday Eating Disorder Recovery Drop In Support Group at TAC on Saturday mornings from 10-11:30am. For more information please call 773.929.6262 (ext.12).

Take it to the Trees

This time of year for me always brings with it feelings of nostalgia. I’ve felt it for years and could never quite put a finger on why. Recently however, I made a trip back to the city where I went to college. I took a walk down an old familiar path through the woods near campus. It had that crisp feeling of fall and the colors of the trees were spectacular. That was when I realized, it was the trees. I grew up in the country and have spent a great deal of my life outdoors. As far back as I can remember I have always felt a connection to the trees. It might sound strange to some, especially to those most familiar with the city, but I have never felt as at home as I do in the woods. I began to think about the seasons and the cycle of the trees from budding and growing in the spring, lush and green during the summer months to brilliant colors and slowly falling leaves in the fall, and dormant but silhouetted figures in the winter. It’s a beautiful and intriguing cycle and I think the way my senses interpret these events triggers certain memories or emotions. Am I alone in this? Envision trees in the spring, barely budding, peeking green, almost melting in sun and breathing back to life. What does that bring up for you? The smell of the thawing earth, the birds beginning to flutter from branch to branch in spring feels different to me than the fall. During the fall it’s the sound of leaves crunching beneath your feet and the trees almost visibly sigh as the let go of their leaves and succumb to the winter. Their branches become bare but instead of appearing naked and afraid they begin to look stoic, almost wise in knowing that this is all part of the cycle. Even rain sounds and feels different falling on the trees in the spring and the fall. It reminds me of the story “The Fall of Freddie the Leaf” by Leo Buscalgia which I would recommend to anyone looking for a short story that offers a lot of insight and meaning. As you may have already picked up on, I have spent a lot of time in the company of the trees. For me it has priceless therapeutic value. The idea of “taking it to the trees” has been a sort of theme throughout my life. I think it is important for everyone to have a place they can go to feel connected to something outside of human existence, something that often feels much bigger than ourselves.

Take it to the Trees – By Kaitlyn Gitter

Out in the woods

Just me and the trees

With the lungs of the Earth

I can finally breathe

The wind blows by

Tousles their leaves

They’re waving hello

Welcoming me

I envy their roots

Their stability

I long for their strength

Their community

But when I’m down

Or need to be alone

I know they will always

Share with me their home

When my soul is feeling restless

And needs to be free

I know I can always

Count on the trees

When I’m looking for a piece of me

Or just a slice of serenity

I know a place where I can breathe

I take my secrets to the trees

I can feel the souls of trees

And trees can heal the soul of me

There I can feel safe

And calm

And free.

Kaitlyn is a student at the Adler School of Professional Psychology. She is currently a counseling intern at the Awakening Center and co-leads the Eating Disorders Anonymous group on Wednesday evenings from 7:45-9pm. Call (773)929-6262 ext 12 for more details.

"Delighting in Fall"

Besides Psychotherapy, another passion of mine is astronomy! We just experienced the Autumnal Equinox – the day when the Sun crosses the equator and the day and night are equal in length. Whenever we experience an astronomical event, I think about early humans. I wonder what they were thinking when the sun was lower in the sky and the days were shorter. Were they frightened of the changes they couldn’t understand? Even modern humans have fears of change, especially of the unknown. Jen Schurman helps clients explore the dynamics that lead to a greater sense of self-awareness. You’ll hear this self-awareness in her Blog article as she “notices” the changing seasons.

Namasté,

Amy Grabowski, MA, LCPC

“Delighting in the Fall”

I’m a summer girl. I love the lake, the sand, the sun, the warm weather and flip flops. So I got to thinking as I found myself ignoring the signs that fall is surely on its way. What is it about the change in this season that is so difficult? Surely there is something nice about the changing colors on the trees, a brisk breeze while on a walk, apple cider and even football games. But appreciating the fall means letting go of all I love about the summer and looking forward to what lies ahead. The changing seasons is a reminder of the endless changes that we face in our lives.

I often encourage clients to think about changes in their lives. We talk about preparing for change, observing change, and even delighting in change. But it often takes quite some time before the process of change actually begins. So often we say things like, “But I’m comfortable here,” or “I can’t wait for this part of my life to just be over so I can get where I want to be” or “It’s impossible to make sense of what this time is really for.” Although the season ahead may be what we truly desire, many things are required to be left behind. In order to savor the present season we need to leave the comfort, safety, and familiarity of the previous season behind. No wonder it’s difficult to get moving. The shifting from one season to the next requires a belief that the coming season has exciting, fulfilling, challenging, and new purposes for us.

The movement from one season to the next dares us to let go of the old and welcome the new. It challenges us to trust that regardless of where we are in life or what situations may be happening, there is something essential for us about this time. Savoring each season involves us being in the present moment and not living for yesterday or tomorrow but right now. I know that when I remind myself to be mindful and pay attention there are so many things I notice that typically get overlooked. I notice a child’s carefree laughter, I notice the stranger that just gave me a warm smile, I notice how difficult the moment is and that I’m actually getting through it, I notice what I love about this time in my life, I notice what I need…I notice. So often all of these little moments in life get disregarded and we feel like we are just rushing through the days.

The challenge of being present for each season in our lives does not discount the fact that there are some that are more pleasant than others. There are seasons we will look back on with lovely memories and seasons we will long to put behind us. The importance is being able to fall away from the safety of the last season and eagerly anticipate what lies ahead, for this is how we truly grow. There is a great transformation that occurs in our lives as we realize that regardless of the season we can handle it. That in each season there is something intended for us, something for us to know, learn, challenge or even a joy to simply revel in. In each and every season we have the gift of the strength within us.

So as I pack my beach bag and flip flops I am challenging myself to enjoy the bright red hues of the changing leaves and get comfortable in my favorite sweater. I know that although it can be difficult to move from a season I love, surely the one to come has much potential and promise. Perhaps Ralph Waldo Emerson says it best, “What lies behind you and what lies in front of you, pales in comparison to what lies inside you.”

Jen Schurman, MA, LPC

(773) 929-6262 x 20