Meditation Monday: Spring Renewal

By Nancy Hall, MA, NCC, LPC

In an effort to take the “manic” out of “Monday,” this weekly post explores techniques, issues, latest research, and other thoughts on meditation. Nancy facilitates a weekly meditation group at The Awakening Center. For more information, contact her at 773.929.6262, extension 17 or nancyhalltac@gmail.com

It finally happened—spring arrived in the Midwest. Most of the snow has melted and flowers are beginning to pop up. It is so exciting to see the first crocuses bloom. But as spring progresses and bigger flowers bloom, the smaller blossoms might get overlooked.

That is the subject of William Cullen Bryant’s poem “The Yellow Violet.” 

When beechen buds begin to swell,
   And woods the blue-bird’s warble know,
The yellow violet’s modest bell
   Peeps from the last year’s leaves below.

Ere russet fields their green resume,
   Sweet flower, I love, in forest bare,
To meet thee, when thy faint perfume
   Alone is in the virgin air.

Of all her train, the hands of Spring
   First plant thee in the watery mould,
And I have seen thee blossoming
   Beside the snow-bank’s edges cold.

Thy parent sun, who bade thee view
   Pale skies, and chilling moisture sip,
Has bathed thee in his own bright hue,
   And streaked with jet thy glowing lip.

Yet slight thy form, and low thy seat,
   And earthward bent thy gentle eye,
Unapt the passing view to meet
   When loftier flowers are flaunting nigh.

Oft, in the sunless April day,
   Thy early smile has stayed my walk;
But midst the gorgeous blooms of May,
   I passed thee on thy humble stalk.

So they, who climb to wealth, forget
   The friends in darker fortunes tried.
I copied them—but I regret
   That I should ape the ways of pride.

And when again the genial hour
   Awakes the painted tribes of light,
I’ll not o’erlook the modest flower
   That made the woods of April bright.

Poetry is that lovely art form that allows language to reach the parts of the brain unencumbered by logic. The experience of reading or listening to a poem is meditative in and of itself, especially when we’re able to let go of our natural tendency to want to interpret or analyze the poem.

In poetry, we can get bogged down in asking “But what does it mean?” While there is joy in discovering themes and layers of meaning, the experience of allowing the images to simply wash over us has a great deal of value.

Attending to the metaphors and language can help ground us in the present. We can orient ourselves to the sounds of the words and the colors and textures of the images. One simple phrase or stanza can take us on an unexpected meditative journey.

Poetryfoundation.org has numerous recordings of poems—many by the poets themselves. Or, pick a poem you like, record yourself reading it, and allow yourself to be transported. Don’t worry if you don’t understand most of the words or if your logic brain can’t figure out what’s going on. Just take in the sounds and rhythms of the words and let them carry you away.

Nancy Hall, MA, NCC, LPC is a staff therapist and the intake coordinator at The Awakening Center. In addition to seeing clients for individual therapy, she leads the weekly meditation group and co-leads the Somatic-Experience-Informed Trauma Healing Group. Check and subscribe out her blog “All Shapes and Sizes,” which appears on Chicago Tribune’s media partner ChicagoNow.com.

Meditation Monday: Meet Sharon Salzberg

By Nancy Hall, MA, NCC, LPC

In an effort to take the “manic” out of “Monday,” this weekly post explores techniques, issues, latest research, and other thoughts on meditation. Nancy facilitates a weekly meditation group at The Awakening Center. For more information, contact her at 773.929.6262, extension 17 or nancyhalltac@gmail.com.

Noted author and meditation teacher Sharon Salzberg was born in New York City in 1952. She became interested in Buddhism while in college and shortly thereafter traveled to India to begin intensive meditation training. She started teaching meditation in the United States in 1974 and throughout the years has become a leading figure in incorporating meditation into Western culture.

Salzberg co-founded Insight Meditation Society (IMS) in Massachusetts where retreats and meditation classes are held. She is also a New York Times best-selling author, which highlights her ability to explain in plain language the benefits of mindfulness in everyday life. She takes an abstract and potentially elusive practice and makes it accessible to everyone.

In a recent Washington Post interview, Salzberg detailed the benefits of mindfulness, emphasizing the distractions we experience in our plugged-in world. She also addressed some of the misconceptions and obstacles to meditation. 

When we realize our mind has wandered off like a monkey, it’s in that moment we have a chance to be really different, instead of reinforcing old habits. Instead of lambasting ourselves that we didn’t meditate perfectly, we let go and start over. And if your mind wanders in the next ten seconds, you let go and start over. And let go and start over. That’s strength training. We’re practicing resilience.

Frequently, clients tell me that they find meditation frustrating because they cannot “turn off” their minds. But, as Salzberg emphasizes, completely shutting down thoughts is not the goal—being aware of distractions and then reorienting to the meditation is a key component of healing and re-connecting to the world.

Meditation does not have to be time consuming and can work with any lifestyle, philosophy, or religious tradition. Learning to quiet the mind facilitates physical, emotional, and mental healing.

In Sharon Salzberg’s own words: 

Each of us has a genuine capacity for love, forgiveness, wisdom and compassion. Meditation awakens these qualities so that we can discover for ourselves the unique happiness that is our birthright.

Nancy Hall, MA, NCC, LPC is a staff therapist and the intake coordinator at The Awakening Center. In addition to seeing clients for individual therapy, she leads the weekly meditation group and co-leads the Somatic-Experience-Informed Trauma Healing Group. Nancy also writes for ChicagoNow, a media partner of the Chicago Tribune. Check out and subscribe to her blog All Shapes and Sizes.

Meditation Monday: The Six Elements

By Nancy Hall, MA, NCC, LPC

In an effort to take the “manic” out of “Monday,” this weekly post explores techniques, issues, latest research, and other thoughts on meditation. Nancy facilitates a weekly meditation group at The Awakening Center. For more information, contact her at 773.929.6262, extension 17 or nancyhalltac@gmail.com

The Six Elements Meditation is a systematic practice that fosters connection to everything that composes us but is not from us. Clear as mud, right? Think of it this way, everything that makes up our bodies—solids, liquids, gases—actually comes from outside of us. Food, water, oxygen—we need these from the outside to stay alive. However, we aren’t just consumers. What we take in eventually comes out in some form or fashion.

The Six Element practice helps us get in touch with this process, which then enables the exploration of impermanence. Every element explored in this meditation is ever changing. So this practice is both grounding and dynamic.

Found in the Pali Canon—ancient scriptural text of the Theravadan Buddhist tradition—this reflection enables the practitioner to contemplate the following elements: 

1. Earth: The solids within and outside the body.
2. Water: The liquid within and outside the body.
3. Fire: The energy within and outside the body.
4. Air: The gases within and outside the body.
5. Space: That which we cannot touch but surrounds all matter.
6. Consciousness: That which allows us to contemplate the first 5 elements.

A Six Element Meditation practice typically starts with a period of relaxing breathing and perhaps time to move into a loving-kindness state. Then the practitioner works through each element.

The order is important because each one becomes less concrete or tangible.

As you contemplate each element consider: 

• How the element comes into your body and how you then return it to the outside.
• The ever-changing nature of the element.
• How you experience each element.
• That each element has its origins in the “not self.”

Allow yourself to feel grounded by this practice but also challenged to let go of the illusion of permanence—like the universe, we are always in a state of flow and always renewing. Notice how this idea makes you feel.

In the Buddhist tradition, suffering occurs when we resist accepting impermanence or when we fixate on how we wish things were, instead of accepting how they are. The Six Element Meditation challenges this resistance. What do you hold on to that hinders your growth? What do you resist acknowledging in an effort to protect yourself from pain? Perhaps this practice can help you answer these questions and more. 

Nancy Hall, MA, NCC, LPC is a staff therapist and the intake coordinator at The Awakening Center. In addition to seeing clients for individual therapy, she leads the weekly meditation group and co-leads the Somatic-Experience-Informed Trauma Healing Group.

Meditation Monday: Loving-Kindness

By Nancy Hall, MA, NCC, LPC

In an effort to take the “manic” out of “Monday,” this weekly post explores techniques, issues, latest research, and other thoughts on meditation. Nancy facilitates a weekly meditation group at The Awakening Center. For more information, contact her at 773.929.6262, extension 17 or nancyhalltac@gmail.com

Loving-kindness is a phrase that is found in a variety of faith practices. In Christianity, it refers to mercy and love; in Buddhism, loving-kindness is another way of describing altruistic or selfless love. The concept is used in meditation to create a state of compassion, openness, and love.

Noted meditation teacher Sharon Salzburg described loving-kindness as “a quality of friendship … a cultivation of a steady, unconditional sense of connection that touches all beings without exception, including ourselves.” In other words, a loving-kindness meditation helps us shift our mindset so that we relate to ourselves and everyone with compassion and caring.

Traditionally, a loving-kindness meditation is directed at 5 groups: 

1. Yourself: Your practice always begins with developing a loving acceptance of yourself.
2. Benefactor: Someone for whom you feel great gratitude (no conflict). This could be someone whom you’ve never met, like a public figure or religious leader.
3. Beloved friend or family member: Someone you love unconditionally even though there might be occasional conflict.
4. Neutral person: Someone for whom you have no particular feelings, such as your local coffee shop barista or your mail carrier.
5. Difficult person (enemy): Anyone who creates aversion or anger (even public figure)

 There are 3 ways to arouse feelings of loving-kindness for these folks: 

1. Visualize: See yourself or the person you’re directing the feeling toward smiling back at you and experiencing joy.
2. Reflection: Reflect on positive qualities of yourself or person you’re directing loving-kindness toward.
3. Auditory: Repeat an internalized loving phrase.

In cultivating your own practice, ask “what do I wish for myself and others?” Perhaps it’s to be: 

• Free from danger
• Happy
• Free from suffering
• Dwelling in peace
• Safe

You can incorporate loving-kindness into your day-to-day life just by changing your mindset. Approach yourself and everyone as if we are all seeking happiness and peace. We are all trying to do what we think is right.

As part of a meditation, you can direct the following phrases toward all 5 groups: 

• May I [or you] be free from inner and outer harm and danger. May I [or you] be safe and protected.
• May I [or you] be free of mental suffering or distress.
• May I [or you] be happy.
• May I [or you] be free of physical pain and suffering.
• May I [or you] be healthy and strong.
• May I [or you] be able to live in this world happily, peacefully, joyfully, and with ease.

These are just examples, but the idea is to systematically work through all groups. You might find that feelings that seem to contradict loving-kindness will emerge, such as sadness, anger, or fear. That is fine; this shows your heart is softening and pent-up feelings are beginning to be revealed. Accept these feelings without judgment.

Approach your practice with a sense of curiosity and compassion. Appreciate your efforts, and remember—kindness is contagious.

Nancy Hall, MA, NCC, LPC is a staff therapist and the intake coordinator at The Awakening Center. In addition to seeing clients for individual therapy, she leads the weekly meditation group and co-leads the Somatic-Experience-Informed Trauma Healing Group.

Put on Your Own Oxygen Mask First

By Erin Stitzel, MA, LPC

Have you ever found yourself in situations in life where things just don't seem to be going your way? Perhaps you are in a relationship that is more draining than nourishing. Or, your job makes you feel like a robot who just shows up day after day, not really emotionally or mentally invested. You may have friends or acquaintances in your life who seem to be energy vampires; they are more adept at taking than giving. Why do we tolerate these situations? What is it about our conditioning that keeps us from saying "Yes!" to happiness, joy, and thriving?

            Perhaps we grew up in families, cultures, or societies that value selflessness and putting others first. To be sure, giving and care for others are honorable and valuable qualities. They allow us to have empathy and connect deeply with others. However, a recent conversation with a client of mine revealed the following wisdom: If we don't take care of ourselves first, and cultivate a healthy and loving relationship with our Self, then we have no Self from which to give and care for others.

            "In the event that our cabin loses pressure, an oxygen mask will fall down from above you. Secure your mask first and then assist others." So, how can we begin to cultivate this loving relationship with our Selves? How can we shift our paradigm to one that is inclusive and understanding? The following guidelines can serve as gentle reminders to move you onto the path of taking care of your Self.   

1. If it feels wrong, don't do it.
2. Say "exactly" what you mean
3. Don't be a people pleaser.
4. Trust your instincts.
5. Never speak badly about yourself.
6. Never give up on your dreams.
7. Don't be afraid to say "no."
8. Don't be afraid to say "yes."
9. Be kind to yourself.
10. Let go of what you can't control.
11. Stay away from drama and negativity.
12. Love.

(Source livelovefruit.com)

These sound so simple, but you may find that as you go about working on these for yourself, it feels easier and more natural to extend these principles to others. As with many things in life, just keep at it. Practice makes possible. So what do you think? Ready to put on your oxygen mask?

Erin Stitzel, MA, LPC, is a staff therapist at The Awakening Center. She co-leads the Adult DBT group and the Teen/Family DBT group. Erin is specially trained in Internal Family Therapy (IFS), Person-Centered Therapy, and Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy. 

Think, Before Acknowledging

By Michel Harris, RD, LDN, CDE

 One of my clients, who recently achieved her goal weight, arrived to our session looking defeated. She explained that her attempt to donate blood turned humiliating when the receptionist commented on her thin appearance and then announced to the entire room how much she weighed. A second client, who is close to her goal weight, endures hurtful comments from her co-workers on a daily basis. They cannot seem to stop reminding her of how lucky she is to “eat anything she wants and stay so thin.”

The way in which these people behaved towards my clients reminds me of a scene from the movie “Splash.” Darryl Hannah is in a department store purchasing underwear, and the saleslady, while trying to sell her something fancier, commented on her appearance, then said “My daughter-in-law, on the other hand is lucky, she’s anorexic.” For both of my clients, the remarks of others sting because having an eating disorder makes them feel anything but lucky. Just like the saleslady in “Splash,” these comments seem to equate underweight and thinness as a status everyone desires. While they wouldn't be expected to know the circumstances that my clients have faced, they have acted disrespectfully by assuming they enjoy being recognized for their appearance.

You may think that underweight and thin have the same meaning, but to clarify, underweight refers to someone who is not at his or her desired weight for health. A thin person is at a healthy weight but is often viewed as underweight by those who are dissatisfied by their own appearance.

As a dietitian, I have heard just as many stories involving humiliation of underweight and thin clients, as I have of those who are overweight or obese. However, since the media promotes underweight and thinness as the appearance everyone strives for, it is assumed that weight-related comments are welcomed by this population.

When you are about to ask your friend why she is eating yogurt or exercising because she is so thin, stop and remind yourself that she may be struggling with accepting her own body or maybe she is very confident with living a healthy lifestyle. Remember, you don’t know her life story or how she came to her current appearance.

I will close with a line from one of my favorite songs by the artist Monica: “Just one of them days a girl goes through.” While this song is about a relationship in which the girl apologizes to her boyfriend for wanting to be alone sometimes, I used to play this song in my college days when I was having a poor body image day. All of us, despite our body size, have days in which we are uncomfortable with our body. Let’s support each other and acknowledge our non-physical attributes.

Michel Harris is the staff nutritionist at The Awakening Center. She counsels clients individually and in group. Check back on the Calendar page for updates on new groups in 2015. Michel is accepting new clients, so call 773-929-6262 for more information.

Finding Your Tribe

By Erin Diedling, M.Ed, LCPC

Recently, I was invited to a retreat. I didn't know anyone attending, including the hosts who invited me. I knew very few of the details, and after I booked my travel arrangements the dates were changed. It was getting weird. At that point, I thought about not going. But my gut said “GO.” I checked in again and considered the outcome of going versus not going. It still said “GO GO GO!” Now I know why. Something about this group of strangers gathering to focus upon spirit and to heal together pulled at me.

            This group of healers were from around the globe, and each brought a special unique healing gift. All the gifts were different. We exchanged modalities and taught each other. At the meditation center, we sat under the majestic redwood trees and exchanged stories until late at night. It’s still unfolding. The relationships, transformation, and the experiences that were shared. The sense of belonging and connectedness. It was profound. My spirit got giddy to be around this group. We stay in touch and feed each other with strength and connection. It’s like push pins on a globe that light up when we video chat.

            Then I came home and was so excited to share the transformation with my colleagues and clients. I realized I had a work tribe. I get to work with a crew of unbelievably talented practitioners. We get excited to see each other in the halls and trade stories and support each other’s work. It’s kinda magical.

            I’m blessed. I have a tribe. I have many tribes.

            So often in our work at The Awakening Center with complex trauma, eating disorders, high anxiety, and so forth, clients are isolated. The biggest difficulties many of my clients face are loneliness and isolation. People can experience that in a crowd or at home alone. I know that seeking company is risky for some. It can be uncomfortable. And I’ll admit, I can be an extrovert when I want to (or when I need to be). Introverts can have a tough time taking advice from an extrovert because their fear is overlooked. I want to acknowledge your fear. It’s risky. You can get hurt. There’s a deep longing to connect without the means or the understanding of how.

            So I will ask, where are the invites? Is there an interest you have that pulls at you. Is there and alumni organization, cultural club, business group, and on and on?

            I urge clients and friends to seek out their tribes when they’re feeling lost. Author and spiritual leader Rob Bell said, “If you’re feeling your world is too small or if you’re feeling stuck, then make your world bigger.”

            Is there a tribe that is inviting you? Is there a tribe that calls you? If you have to convince or campaign for it, it’s probably not your tribe.

            Or, consider the tribes that are inviting you. Are they appealing to you? Do they freak you out and make you want to run? Probably not your tribe. Sometimes it’s like the Hans Christian Andersen tale of the Ugly Duckling. He can’t see its own beauty. He thinks he’s a duck who looks different from other ducks. It takes a couple of mated beautiful swans to initiate the naïve swan into the tribe. “Look at you at your grace and talent, where have you been, we’ve missed you, come swim with us.”

            Sometimes our biological families are our tribes. Other times we create a family out of friends, coworkers, places of common interest, the art studio, volunteer organizations, places of worship, or institutions of learning.

            Please respond, and let people reading this blog know where you find and have found your tribe. Where do you get a sense of belonging? And how do you invite others to join in? Thanks for reading this. I’m grateful for your participation.

Erin is Director of Trauma Healing and Sr. Staff Therapist at The Awakening Center. She completed an advanced 3 year training with Somatic Experience Trauma Institute (SETI). She does body-centered psychotherapy, teaches meditation, and leads the Somatic Experience–informed trauma group at The Awakening Center. She periodically teaches her signature Design Your Life Workshop. She specializes in treating complex trauma, eating/anxiety disorders as well performers and artists. Erin dances, paints, and writes in Chicago.